Its Real
by Random Disasters
Summary: This is a Lily/Severus story from when they met to their last year at Hogwarts. Its about how James Potter becomes a conflict and of all the memories that we don't get to see when Harry watches Snape's memories in the last book.
1. The Letter

Disclaimer: I do not own ANY of the Harry Potter characters. Just the plot. And some of the lines come straight out of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows.

[X]

Lillian Evans sat starring at the letter. This couldn't be happening. It wasn't happening. Not to her. Not to an average girl.

Not Lily.

"What's that?" someone demanded.

Lily didn't look up. It was probably just her imagination playing tricks on her again.

"You better tell me, or I'm going to go get Mummy!" someone shrieked.

Lily tucked a strand of her dark red hair behind her ear and turned to look at her older sister Petunia with her green eyes.

"I-I think its my letter to Hogwarts."

"Hogwarts? That stupid school that boy is always talking about?"

"Yes."

"Don't you dare open that!"

Lily nodded and stuck in the trash can.

"I wasn't going to, Tuney."

Petunia studied her little sister for a moment before turning and leaving the room. Lily waited until she was sure that she wasn't on the upstairs landing anymore. She grabbed the letter out of the trash and stuck it under her shirt. She walked out of her room trying to clear her expression. She walked down the stairs and into the living room where her parents sat conversing.

"Can I go play, Mummy?" she asked.

"Of course, darling," Mrs. Evans replied, not paying attention.

Lily hurried out of the house, checking over her shoulder as she walked down the sidewalk. As she turned down the block and was out of view of the windows of her house she broke out into a sprint. As she was running she pulled the letter out from under her shirt where her name and address screamed up at her. She was turning down Spinner's End before she knew it.

"Lily?"

"Severus!"

Lily came to a halt in front of the surprised boys face.

"Did you get a letter today?" she asked breathlessly.

"Yeah, my Hogwarts one. Did you?" he asked.

"Yes, but I'm scared to open it." Lily admitted.

"Scared? Why?"

Lily dropped her tone to a breathless whisper,

"Petunia said it's bad to get these things. That being a witch makes me a-a FREAK."

"You're not a freak," Severus frowned, "its good to be a witch. You get to do magic!"

"I know, but I didn't want to open it alone and Petunia told me not to or she would tell Mummy on me."

"Well, you can open it now."

Lily sat down with him under the cool trees and read the letter sent to her from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

"You were telling the truth," Lily smiled looking up at him.

"I told you I was," Severus shrugged.

Lily tenderly refolded the letter and placed it in her pocket as she looked inquiringly at Severus Snape.

"Tell me about it all. Please, I want to know it all." she begged.

Severus smiled and began to talk about all of it. Quidditch, the Ministry of Magic, Azkaban, and everything else in the world that Lily would soon be joining.

"…and the Ministry can punish you if you do magic outside of school. You get these letters--"

"But I have done magic outside of school!"

"We're all right. We haven't got wands yet. They let you off when you're a kid and you can't help it. But once you're eleven, and they starting training you, then you've got to be careful." he said importantly.

"It is real, isn't it? It's not a joke? Petunia says you're lying to me. She says there isn't a Hogwarts. It is real, isn't it? Please say it is!" Lily begged.

"It's real for us, we got the letter."

"Really?"

"Definitely."

"And will it really come by owl? I think that would be so cool!"

"Normally," he replied, "but you're Muggle-born so someone will have to come and explain it to your parents. They're probably doing it right now since you're here with me. I guess the headmaster already knows that I told you."

"Does it make a difference? Being Muggle-born, I mean." she asked.

Severus hesitated as he looked at the pale face with the dark red hair swirling around it.

"No," he replied, "it doesn't make any difference at all."

"Good." Lily relaxed and gave him a smile.

"You've got loads of magic. I saw that. All the time that I was watching you…" he trailed off but Lily was fantasying something herself.

"How are things at your house?" she finally asked after a long silence had passed.

"Fine," he had a crease in-between his eyes.

"They're not arguing anymore?"

"Oh, yes, they're arguing," he shrugged, "But it won't be long and I'll be gone."

"Doesn't your dad like magic?"

"He doesn't like anything, much."

"Severus?"

"Yeah?"

"Tell me about the dementors again."

"What d'you want to know about them for?"

"If I use magic outside school--"

"They won't send you to the dementors for that! Dementors are for people who do really bad stuff. They guard the wizard prison, Azkaban. You're not going to end up in Azkaban, you're too--" he stopped abruptly as a noise came from behind them.

Petunia came tumbling out of her hiding place.

"Tuney!" Lily cried out, surprised.

"Who's spying now?" Severus shouted, "What d'you want?"

Petunia was breathless, but she shouted,

"What is that you're wearing, anyway? Your mum's blouse?"

There was a loud crack. A branch fell over Petunia and Lily screamed. The branch caught Petunia on the shoulder and she stumbled backward, crying.

"Tuney!" Lily cried.

Petunia was running away. Lily spun around and glared at Severus,

"Did you make that happen?"

"No!" he looked defiant.

"You did!" Lily backed away from him.

"No-no I didn't."

"You did! You hurt her!"

The lie didn't convince Lily. She went running after her sister crying her name. Severus looked after her; miserable and confused.

[X]

A/N: So what do you think? Let me know, I really would like to carry on if people like it.

=]

--Disaster


	2. Explain

"I told you not to open it! I told her, Mummy, I promise I did. I told her not to open it and this is why because now she's a-a-FREAK." Petunia wailed as Albus Dumbledore, the headmaster of Hogwarts, sat looking at them all kindly.

"Oh no, Petunia, your sister is not a freak," Dumbledore smiled, "she is actually quite normal by wizard standards. She has amazing magic, lots of it, for a Muggle."

"Muggle? What is with you people and insulting us?" Petunia demanded.

"I'm sorry, non magical heritage." Dumbledore smiled.

Lily sat down in front of him and looked up at him through her beautiful emerald eyes. His blue ones twinkled down at her.

"Is it all real? All of it?" she whispered.

"Quite real, yes." he nodded.

"I haven't got any money," she frowned.

"Oh that's quite fine. I can change your Muggle money into wizarding money. Quite simple, really. If you can afford it--"

"Oh, we can. Money won't be a problem. If you take pounds--" Mr. Evans started.

"Ah, but we don't. We have our own currency. I will happily transfer it for you, though. Would you like for me to accompany you to Diagon Alley?" Dumbledore now asked Lily.

"We would have to come," Mrs. Evans broke in quickly.

Dumbledore smiled at her,

"Of course. I wouldn't want my child running around by herself. Especially not at such a young age."

Lily couldn't help but smile. He was very charming, and she liked him.

"Well…I suppose so. Are we going to have to pay to get her into this--erm--school?" Mr. Evans asked.

Lily frowned.

"Of course not, it is completely free of charge except for her school books and what not. She might also want an owl to keep in touch with you. That's what our normal post is. Nothing dangerous. I promise. The Muggle mailman doesn't come to Hogwarts, we're located far out and away from everyone else." Dumbledore stood.

Lily stood up quickly with him. She had taken a liking to this strange man and didn't want him to go. Even though she had Severus, it would still feel unreal once he left. Her parents follow after her as they walked Professor Albus Dumbledore to the door. Lily took hold of the cuff link on his suit.

"Thank you, sir." she whispered to him.

"No," he smiled, "thank you. I am also under the impression that you are friends with a Mr. Severus Snape of Spinner's End?"

"Yes sir. He's my best friend." Lily nodded.

"Well he knows all about this and if you have any questions you may ask him. I shall be back in a week with your ticket for the Hogwarts Express and for your trip to Diagon Alley. Would a Thursday be nice for you all or shall we make a different time?" he asked Mr. And Mrs. Evans.

"No, no, Thursday is fine." Mr. Evans shook his head.

"Perfect," Dumbledore smiled.

He bade them good night and walked out the door. Lily ran over to the front window and watched as the man with his long silver hair and beard walked down the sidewalk in long strides. He turned on the spot and disappeared.

"Oh, Lily, there was always something wonderful about you!" Mrs. Evans sniffed as she pulled her daughter into a hug.

"I'm so proud of you," Mr. Evans beamed.

Petunia sat, quite forgotten, in the living room where she listened wet eyes to her parents praising.

All for being a freak, Petunia thought bitterly.

[X]

"Sorry to burst in here. I should introduce meself. Rubes Hagrid, Keeper of Key and Grounds at Hogwarts." a giant man with crazy hair and bettle black eyes said on Thursday a week later.

Severus Snape merely looked at him but Lily bubbled,

"Oh that's amazing! You work for the school? But where is Professor Dumbledore? I thought he was coming to escort us. Mummy! Hurry up! Someone else is here to take us! Is Petunia coming? Oh I do hope she is--"

"Lil," Severus interrupted, "stop."

Lily fell silent but stood looking up at Hagrid with wide, happy eyes.

"Aren't yeh a strange Muggle," he beamed.

"Strange is one word," Lily laughed.

Hagrid let out his own booming laugh as Mrs. Evans appeared, calling to her eldest daughter over her shoulder,

"Hurry up now, Tuney, we've got to get goin--oh!"

She had just caught side of the large giant standing on her doorstep.

"Sorry to burs' up in here, ma'am," he apologized, "here on Hogwarts business. Dumbledore couldn' make it. Good man, Dumbledore. Anyway, I'm here to take yeh on yer way to Diagon Alley. Easy place to reach if yeh know what yer doin'. We all ready then? Good."

Hagrid led the way down the steps and towards a very large taxi sitting in the road. Petunia, Lily, and Mrs. Evans all eyed it cautiously. Severus slid right into it as Hagrid walked around and climbed in on the passenger side, still having to squeeze himself in.

"Come on, Lily, we better get going." Severus called.

Lily hesitated for another moment before climbing in after him. Mrs. Evans followed quickly after her daughter, pulling Petunia along behind her.

Lily watched as the scenery flashed by as they drove further and further down town. Soon they were passing filthy little places. Lily didn't say anything but watched in wonder as she quickly left the Muggle world behind her unconsciously. She was excited at the prospect of finally finding why she was so different from the rest. She was ready to open up to this new experience--and she was going to be a witch!

"Isn't this exciting, Tuney?" she whispered to her sister.

"No. I want to go home." she snapped.

Lily sighed,

"What is it Tuney? Surely there isn't--"

"Just leave me alone, Lily."

Lily fell silent and indeed left her sister alone. She didn't want Petunia any more mad at her then she already seemed to be. Slowly the car pulled to a halt in front of a grimy old pub.

"I'm goin' to stay out here with yeh mum and sister. Go on, Severus, yeh know what to do. Don't let her get too los'." Hagrid ordered. He handed Lily a sheet of paper and said gruffly, "Dumbledore already knows yer comin'. No need to worry 'bout any of that."

Lily nodded and stepped out of the taxi with Severus.

"Go ahead and read it," he urged.

Lily slit open the top of the yellowish envelope. Before she read it she asked,

"Is this parchment?"

"Of course." Severus sounded surprised then he teased, "Did you even listen to what I told you?"

Lily smiled and pulled another sheet of parchment out and read:

HOGWARTS SCHOOL of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY

Headmaster: ALBUS DUMBLEDORE

_(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. Of Wizards)_

Dear Miss. Evans,

We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment.

Term begins on September 1. We await your owl by no later than July 31.

Yours sincerely,

Minvera McGonagall

Minvera McGonagall,

_Deputy Headmistress_

She smiled up at Severus and whispered,

"Best day of my life."

He laughed,

"I knew you were going to say something like that."

Lily pulled out another sheet of paper and read:

HOGWARTS SCHOOL of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY

UNIFORM

First-year students will require:

1. Three sets of plain work robes (black)

2. One plain pointed hat (black) for day wear

3. One pair of protective gloves (dragon hide or similar)

4. One winter cloak (black, silver fastenings)

Please note that all pupils' clothing should carry name tags.

COURSE BOOKS

All students should have a copy of each of the following:

_The Standard Book of Spells (Grade 1)_

By Miranda Goshawk

_A History of Magic _by Bathilda Bagshot

_Magical Theory _by Adalbert Waffling

_A Beginners' Guide to Transfiguration _by Emeric Switch

_One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi_

By Phyllida Spore

_Magical Drafts and Potions _by Arsenius Jigger

_Fantastic Beats and Where to Find Them_

By Newst Scamander

_The Dark Forces: A Guide to Self-Protection_

By Quentin Trimble

OTHER EQUIPMENT

1 wand

1 cauldron (pewter, standard size 2)

1 set glass or crystal phials

1 telescope

1 set brass scales

Students may also bring an owl OR a cat OR a toad

PARENTS ARE REMINDED THAT FIRST YEARS ARE NOT ALLOWED THEIR OWN BROOMSTICKS

Lily looked up curiously at Severus.

"And we can buy all of this in London?" she asked.

Severus grinned at her before heading into the pub with Lily at his heels,

"Of course. That's why we're here."


	3. Hogwarts Express

"Is this it?"

"Lily, that's just a plain brick wall."

"But the ticket says--"

"I know, but that's not it. Its going to be between platforms nine and ten."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure."

"I think its this way."

"And you say you can do math?"

Lily stuck out her tongue as Severus led the way over to Platform's nine and ten. Mr. And Mrs. Evans followed silent looking around at the normal Muggle train station. Mrs. Snape was right behind the two children and Petunia was eyeing the witch coldly from behind her parents.

"Elinor! I heard you got married!" someone called out.

Mrs. Snape turned to glare at one of the passing Muggles.

"And what is it to you if I did?" she demanded loftily.

Mr. Evans stared at her, shocked. Mrs. Evans turned to the man and said,

"I'm sorry, sir, but do you think you could help us find--?"

"It's right here, Mrs. Evans." Severus said quickly.

Everyone stared at it in silence as the Muggle man walked on. Lily was eyeing the barrier doubtfully as if she knew it were solid.

"Its magical," Severus reassured her.

"It looks solid to me." Petunia said coldly.

Severus turned to glare at her,

"Of course it looks solid to YOU, Muggle."

Petunia looked hard at him as Severus wheeled his cart to face the barrier.

"I'm taking it a run." he informed his mother.

"No you most certainly are not! It'll tire you out and you need to hurry and get on that train. You're walking straight up there with me." she snapped.

She took hold of Severus' upper arm and marched up over to the barrier. The Evans watched, astounded, as they walked straight through it, but they didn't appear on the other side. They stood in silence for a moment, glancing at the people around them. How could they go through without attracting attention to themselves? It didn't seem possible at all for the time being.

"Excuse me, but are you going to go through?" a girl with shocking red hair asked.

Lily was surprised. And she thought HER hair was red, but it was nothing compared to what color this girls hair was. At least Lily's was a dark red and not violent colored like this girls was.

"Erm--well, actually, I'm not sure how to go through." she admitted.

"Oh?" the girl asked, "Are you Muggle-born?"

"Yes."

"Ah. Well I'm Molly. I'm in my fifth year at Hogwarts. Why don't you come on with me?" she asked.

"Thank you. I'm Lily Evans." Lily replied as her family followed behind her.

"Nice to meet you." Molly smiled as she led the new first year Muggle-born to the barrier.

Lily copied her new friend and leaned casually against the barrier between platforms nine and ten. Much to her shock she fell through and found herself on a crowded platform with a sign that read "Platform 9 ¾" above her. Shocked, she gazed around at all the people. Some were already in their black robes and waving goodbye. Some were walking around, calling names of their friends. Some were saying hurried goodbyes to their families, promising to contact as soon as possible. Lily's parents and Petunia appeared behind her.

"Well isn't this something?" Mr. Evans breathed as he took in all the wizards and witches.

Mrs. Evans was looking around in shock and Petunia just glared at any witch that dared to pass her. Some of them shot her surprised looks while others looked merely insulted for just walking across the same ground and getting such a dirty look. Lily knew why this was, but she wasn't going to tell Petunia that she did know. It would make her very upset with her, and she only wished to be on good terms with her sister.

Severus was standing a few feet away from them with his sour looking mother. He was watching Petunia fighting with Lily and he wished they would stop. Lily hated fighting with her, and she always cried after wards, though he never understood why. Petunia was just being ungrateful.

"…I'm sorry, Tuney, I'm sorry! Listen--" Lily caught Petunia's arm and held on to it even though her sister desperately tried to pull away, "Maybe when I get there--no listen, Tuney! Maybe when I'm there I'll be able to go to Professor Dumbledore and persuade him to change his mind!"

Petunia dragged her arm out of her little sisters grasp,

"I don't--want--to--go! You think I want to go to some stupid castle and learn to be a--a--"

Her eyes moved over the platform. She glared at the mewling cats and hooting owls. She stared openly at the students in their robes saying goodbyes to everyone and greeting friends after a long summer apart. She lastly looked at the gleaming scarlet engine that was puffing smoke out onto everyone on the platform. She looked back at her sister and went on in a trembling voice,

"--you think I want to be a----a freak?"

Lily's eyes quickly filled with tears and Petunia tugged her arm away furiously.

"I'm not a freak," Lily whispered, "That's a horrible thing to say."

"That's where you're going. A special school for freaks. You and that Snape boy…weirdo's, that's what you two are. It's good you're being separated from normal people. Its for our safety." Petunia cried with relish.

Lily looked over at her parents who were still looking around with enjoyment. She looked back at Petunia her voice low and fierce,

"You didn't think it was such a freak's school when you wrote to the headmaster and begged him to take you."

Petunia's face went scarlet.

"Beg? I didn't beg!" she snapped.

"I saw his reply. It was very kind."

"You shouldn't have read--that was my private--how could you---?" Petunia whispered in shock.

Lily half glanced at Severus and Petunia gasped.

"That boy found it! You and that boy have sneaking in my room!" she raged.

"No--not sneaking. Severus saw the envelope and he couldn't believe that a Muggle could have contacted Hogwarts, that's all! He says there must be wizards working undercover in the postal service who take care of--" Lily defended trying to explain.

"Apparently wizards poke their noses in everywhere!" Petunia was still flushed.

"Freak!" she spat at Lily before running back to where her parents stood.

Lily gazed after her for a moment before Severus walked up. A whistle sounded somewhere from the train and he said,

"Come on, Lily, we've got to get on. Go say goodbye, and hurry or we won't get a good compartment."

Lily nodded, and hurried over to her parents. Petunia looked coldly away from her, staring at the barrier they had come through. Lily hugged each of her parents in turn, kissing them and hugging them, promising to use a school owl and write. Mrs. Evans promised to get an owl next year, and Mr. Evans made her promise not to leave a single thing out. Good or bad. Mrs. Evans handed her daughter a journal and told her to keep record of everything that she didn't want to put in her letters so she could show them when they got home. Lily took it gratefully and kissed both of them again with another round of hugs. Petunia said nothing and wouldn't turn around until Lily said,

"Good bye, Tuney. I'll write to you."

"Don't." Petunia spat.

Lily gave her a hurt look, but her parents didn't seem to hear what Petunia said. They didn't see Lily's tear filled eyes as they hurried her onto the train. Lily clambered on and waved goodbye to her parents with tears spilling out of her eyes as she remembered what Petunia had said.


	4. The Lake

Lily walked miserably down the corridor of the Hogwarts Express. She was dragging her trunks after her and she looked so heart breaking people were opening their compartment doors and offering her to sit with them. She ignored them and carried on back towards the end. She found a group of boys in one of the compartments. She slid the door open and they all turned to look at her.

One of them had messy black hair and hazel eyes. The other looked like him, but was far more handsome. He had black hair that was smooth and sleek with dark eyes in his handsome face. The other was small, round, with blond hair and brown watery eyes. The last was tall, lanky, with brown hair and hesitant brown eyes. He was cute as well, all of them were except for the mousy looking boy.

"Do you mind?" she sniffed.

They all just stared at her until the most handsome boy said,

"No. Not at all. I'm Sirius Black. You are…?"

"Lily Evans."

"I'm James Potter," the hazel eyed boy declared, as he eyed Lily.

"'Lo." she whispered miserably as she pulled her trunk into the compartment.

"That's Remus Lupin," Sirius pointed to the hesitant boy who had an expression on his face like he couldn't believe he was here, "and that over there is Peter Pettigrew."

Peter was looking Lily up and down as well, but not in the way that James was. It was more as if to size her up, to see if she could handle this.

"Nice to meet you all," she gave them a weak smile, "thank you for letting me sit."

She took a seat across from Remus and rested her head on the window pane, gazing out at the country landscape that was flashing by. Remus looked at her and asked in his quite voice,

"Is there something wrong?"

Lily tried to stop her tears but she couldn't. She hid her face from Remus.

"I'm just sad, that's all." she whispered.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked softly as James and Sirius laughed behind them.

"No, thank you though." Lily sighed.

She peeked up Remus and he gave her an encouraging smile before he moved over to sit across from Peter, closest to the door. Lily curled her feet up in the seat and kept her back to James, who was sitting in the same seat as her, and cried silently. Sirius was lounged out across from him, his long legs sprawled out in front of him.

The door slid open and nobody looked around. Lily glanced under her arm, saw Severus, and looked away again. Trying to hide her face. He came and sat across from her. Her eyes were red but she was no longer crying. She kept looking out the window and said in a tight voice,

"I don't to talk."

"Why not?"

"Tuney h-hates me now because we read the letter from Dumbledore."

"So?"

Lily threw him a look full of hatred.

"She's my sister."

"She's--" Severus stopped talking. Lily tried to wipe her eyes without being noticed.

"But we're on our way! This is it! We're going to Hogwarts!" Severus declared.

Lily nodded and couldn't help but half smile at the exhilaration in his voice.

"You better be in Slytherin," Severus said, happy that she was smiling now.

"Slytherin? Who wants to be a Slytherin? I'd leave, wouldn't you?" James asked Sirius.

Sirius didn't smile as he said,

"My whole family's been in Slytherin."

"Blimey. I thought you were alright!" James exclaimed.

Sirius smiled.

"Maybe I'll break it. Where are you heading, then?" he asked.

James stood up on the seat and acted like he was lifting a sword,

"'Gryffindor--where dwell the brave at heart!' Just like my dad."

Severus made a disparaging noise from behind him. James spun around and snapped,

"Have a problem?"

"No," Severus sneered, "not if you would rather be brawny instead of brainy--"

"And where do you want to go; seeing as you aren't either?" Sirius interrupted.

James let out a roaring laugh. Lily sat up and glared at them. Sirius stopped smirking when he saw her but he didn't stop smiling. James quit laughing and his face was extremely smooth with a hesitant look in his eyes that give Remus's a run for his money.

"Come on, Sev, lets go." she said.

They're grins came back. Sirius let out a mocking,

"Oooooo!"

James imitated her voice and attempted to trip Severus as he passed.

"Catch ya later, Snivellus!" Sirius called as Lily slammed the compartment door shut.

[X]  
"Firs' years! Firs' years!" a booming voice called.

All the first years, even James and Sirius, stared up at the giant with round eyes. He beamed down at them all and waved as more students got off the train,

"C'mon, follow me--any more? Firs' years! Mind yer step! Firs' years this way! C'mon now. Firs' years!"

Soon all the first years were gathered around the large man, looking around terrified. They stumbled quickly after Hagrid, down the a smooth, narrow, path. It was dark and hardly anyone could see what they were doing. There was loud declarations of pain as someone trod on someone else's foot.

"In a sec yeh'll get yet firs' look o' Hogwarts." Hagrid called back to them.

Everyone gasped as the path opened up to the edge of a large, black lake. Perched on top of the high mountain on the other side, with its windows sparkling against the starry sky, there was a large castle with many towers and turrets could be seen.

"No more'n four in a boat!" Hagrid called as the students noticed the fleet of little boats rocking by the edge.

Severus and Lily quickly claimed one and were annoyed when James and Sirius followed them into it.

"Everyone settled? FORWARD!" Hagrid bellowed and the little boats set off with a jolt.

Lily looked over the edge excitedly, monetarily forgetting her unworthy company. The boats slid smoothly over the black surface as they headed across the glassy water. She looked up and watched as the castle loomed closer and closer. She was able to make out the flickering of lights which meant that the castle had torches instead of electricity. She was quivering with nerves and excitement as they drew closer and closer to the cliff's edge and the steady climb up towards the castle.

"So, Snivellus, tell us how you got to be with such a pretty girl?" Sirius grinned as he stretched out in the boat.

"Quit it," Lily snapped, "you'll tip us over."

Sirius rose an eyebrow and leaned further back. The end that Lily and Severus were sitting in was raised off the front of the water a bit.

"I'm serious. Stop it," Lily hissed.

"And what are you going to do if I don't?" Sirius mocked.

Lily only glared openly at him. James was smirking along with his friend as he watched Lily's cold glare. Sirius leaned further back and her expression turned to panic as the boat rose even further out of the water. She, and Severus were now a good seven inches above the water.

"Stop it!" she shrieked.

Sirius leaned further back still and with a sudden jolt leaned forward quickly. James began to rock the boat, and unable to hold on, Lily fell into the cold black water. Lily let out a scream as she fell beneath the surface. She stood up, sopping wet, in the shallow water as the boats came to stop with a jolt on the shore. Severus jumped out and began to shout angrily at James and Sirius who looked extremely mad and guilty. Lily wadded forward to find that Hagrid had joined in on the yelling, and Severus came running over to her. He helped her out of the water and, teeth chattering, she walked over to the three standing near the edge. The rest of the first years were hanging back, unsure if they should laugh or just stand there. A few laughed hesitantly but that was it. Hagrid glared at the two boys as if he were waiting for an explanation.

"We thought she would like to see how the water would feel," James was saying, "and she just…jumped in."

"You liar!" Lily screamed, "You and that stupid friend of yours were rocking the boat and that's the reason why I fell!"

James glanced at her and then back at Hagrid.

Hagrid glared at the two, muttered something to himself about telling the headmaster, and then headed off towards the front of the first year groups taking the shivering Lily with him.


	5. Sorting

Hagrid knocked three times on the castle doors. It swung open at once and a stern looking witch with black hair tied back in a bun and emerald-green robes stood there.

"Firs' years for yeh, Professor McGonagall." Hagrid said.

"May I ask why this one is wet?" she asked and her voice was just as stern as she looked.

Lily felt scared and she shivered more out of fear. Hagrid quickly told her what had happened. She looked sternly over at James and Sirius.

"We'll take care of you in a moment." she snapped.

The witch took out her wand and Lily gave a little squeak. She paused in her surprise and asked,

"Did you think I was going to hurt you?"

Lily nodded numbly as more water dripped off of her and onto the stone steps. Professor McGonagall snorted.

"Silly girl." she muttered.

She waved her wand and Lily's robes became dry and toasty.

"Lily Evans?" Professor McGonagall asked.

"That's me," she whispered.

McGonagall only nodded and turned back to Hagrid,

"Thank you. I can take it from here."

Hagrid stomped back down the stairs. McGonagall stood aside and led them into the large entrance hall. It was very large. So large Lily believed that she could stick her house in here three times over. The stone walls were lit with torches. The ceiling was so high that nobody could make it out. There was a magnificent marble staircase that led them to the upper floors. Lily looked curiously over to the right. She could hear lots of voices as they talked. The rest of the school must already be in there, she thought, what about us? McGonagall began to walk, calling over her shoulder for them to follow. They were shocked when she didn't led them into the hall with the voices but to an empty chamber instead. They all moved in as one, closer together then they normally would allow.

"Welcome to Hogwarts," McGonagall said, "The start-of-term banquet will be starting soon. Before you take your seats in the Great Hall, you will be sorted into your houses. The sorting is a very important ceremony because, while you are here, your house will be something like your family within Hogwarts. You will have classes with the rest of your house, sleep in your house dormitory, and spend free time in your house common room.

"Our four houses here are called Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin. Each house has its own history and each has produced outstanding witches and wizards. While you're at Hogwarts, your triumphs will earn your house points while any rule-breaking will lose them. At the end of each year the house with the most points is awarded the house cup, a great honor. I hope each of you will be a credit to whichever house becomes yours.

"The Sorting Ceremony will take place in a few minutes in front of the rest of the school. I shall return when we are ready for you. Please wait quietly."

Everyone looked around nervously as she left the room. People were whispering amongst themselves, trying to see if anyone knew how they were Sorted. Lily was starting to feel more and more nervous. What if they had to perform some kind of spell? What was she going to do? She had no idea how to do any kind of magic, much less channel it through a wand! She looked over at Severus who had turned a sickly green color. She decided not to ask him anything and instead turned to James on her other side. As mad as she was at him she couldn't help but ask,

"How are we Sorted?"

James merely shrugged and twirled his wand in his fingers as Sirius gazed around the chamber as if bored.

"Oh please," Lily snapped, "like you could do a spell if we needed to."

James didn't say anything but when Lily looked away from him, mad, he let a little smile light up his features. Sirius winked at him as Lily twisted a piece of her dark red hair around her finger nervously.

"Form a line please," McGonagall had returned, "and follow me."

They melted together into a single file line, Lily was in front of Severus but behind James, much to her distaste. They followed McGonagall out of their chamber into the room with the voices. Lily couldn't help but look around in awe as everything came into view. Thousands upon thousands of candles were floating in mid air among four long tables were the rest of the school were sitting. They were laid with glittering golden plates and goblets. At the top of the hall there was another long table were many older people were sitting. The teachers, obviously. They stopped and stood out in front of the rest of the hall. Lily looked up and saw that instead of there being a ceiling there was just the sky which was dark with stars spattered across it. She knew it was bewitched to look like the sky outside. Severus had told her not to buy the book _Hogwarts, A History _but she had anyway, just for the enjoyment of reading. She was proud to tell all the first years who were looking up in wonder that it was bewitched to look like the sky outside. Lily looked to see that McGonagall had silently placed a four legged stool in front of them with a frayed hat sitting on top of it. To her surprise, and all the other first years, the hat burst out into song. The hall erupted into cheers as the song closed and the hat became still again.

"When I call your name, you will put on the hat and sit on the stool to be sorted." McGonagall told them. She held up the list and started with the a's.

After a moment a familiar name rung out,

"Black, Sirius!"

Sirius strolled on up to the stool, flashing a smile at everyone. The Slytherin table was extremely quite. They seemed to be holding their breath.

Well, Lily thought sourly, I hope they do get him. I certainly don't want to be in the same house with him.

"GRYFFINDOR!"

The Slytherin's faces fell as the Gryffindor table broke out into surprised cheers. Apparently they had also heard about the bad things the Black's had done and how the rest of them had been in Slytherin.

More names rung out and then, all too soon, it came.

"Evans, Lily!"  
On shaky legs, Lily left Severus' side to go sit on the stool. The hat had barely touched her head when it screamed,

"GRYFFINDOR!"

Severus let out a groan as Lily took the hat off, set it back on the stool, and walk over to the cheering, stomping table. She glanced back at Severus and there was a tiny sad smile on her face. Sirius moved over to let Lily sit next to him but when she noticed it was him she turned on her heel, chin in the air, and moved on down the table. The role call continued.

"Lupin, Remus!"

Dumbledore sat him in his chair, Lily noticed, when his name was called. The hat sat there for a few moment before declaring him a Gryffindor. Lily gave him a little smile but didn't move to join him when he sat down next to Sirius.

"Potter, James!"

James walked up to the stool with a big of a strut. He knew what house he was going to be in. Like Lily, it had barley touched his head before it screamed Gryffindor.

Shortly after him,

"Pettigrew, Peter!"

The mousy boy was up there for a few minutes, less then Remus, and was hesitantly declared Gryffindor by the hat.

Then, finally, Severus's name was called.

"Snape, Severus!"

"SLYTHERIN!" the hat screamed.

He moved off across the hall, to the Slytherin table, away from Lily. Lily watched as Lucius Malfoy, the prefect badge gleaming on his chest, patted Severus as he looked sadly at Lily from his seat across the hall.


	6. First Day

Lily stood outside the Common Room, hesitating.

"You better get a move on." the fat lady urged.

Lily took a step forward and walked down the corridor. She took a left and walked down a rickety staircase that led her to a brightly lit corridor. She hiked her book bag higher up on her shoulder as she carried on walking. Hearing voices ahead; she picked up her pace. Hopefully they could help her find her way to the Great Hall. She turned the corner and almost groaned.

Sirius, James, Peter, and Remus stood arguing among each other. They didn't look at her as she came into view and stared at them in horror.

"Instead of fighting," she yelled, "maybe you could do something useful like helping me find the Great Hall!"

James's head snapped in her direction. He pulled a little smile on and pressed past Sirius.

"Hey there," he smiled.

"Back up, Potter." she said coldly.

"Touch." Sirius observed.

"You were rude to me first." Lily snapped.

"Rude? None of us were rude." Sirius frowned.

"You were to Severus, and he's my best friend!" she spat.

Sirius's expression lit up and Lily hated the way it made his face so much more handsome. James elbowed him hard in the ribs.

"I'm going this way," Remus said quietly.

He walked up to Lily, hesitated, then asked,

"Would you like to come?"

Lily smiled at him gratefully.

"I say its this way, Remus." James called.

"Lily?" an astounded voice asked, "What are you doing down here?"

Lily turned and smiled. Severus stood there watching her.

"We could ask the same of you ." James spat, annoyed he had shown up.

"Our Common Room is down here, you git." Severus returned.

"What does that make you?" Sirius shot.

"Smarter then you lot." he replied.

Sirius opened his mouth to retort but Remus cut across him,

"Drop it."

"The Great Hall is this way. Coming Lily?" Severus asked.

Lily nodded and hurried after her friend. She didn't see James's fallen face as her dark red hair wiped around the corner and out of sight.

[X]

"Well," Lily gazed at the columns on her schedule, "at least we have one class together."

"Not until Thursday." Severus complained.

"No--look! We have Astronomy together on Wednesday. And we get Friday's off. Fantastic." Lily said.

Severus glared at her.

"Oh come on, Sev. We can hang out on the weekends. I promise all my extra work will be done. Nobody but you." Lily encouraged.

"Do you swear?" he asked.

Lily help up her right hand,

"On our friendship. You can't get anymore bound then that."

Severus set off for Transfiguration alone while Lily hurried off to catch up with Patricia Hurried, her fellow first year Gryffindor.

"You and that Slytherin boy seem close," she said, slowing down as Lily ran forward.

"Yeah. Severus and I are best friends." Lily nodded as they headed down the grounds to Herbology with the Hufflepuffs.

"He's a SLYTHERINE." Pat put extra emphasis on the last word.

"So? He isn't bad." Lily replied as they stopped a little way from the rest of the class.

"He isn't bad now, but he will soon. Slytherine's house as turned out more dark wizards and witches then any other house." Pat said.

"Yeah, because Hufflepuff's are demons." a sarcastic voice said from behind.

Pat and Lily turned to find Sirius and James standing behind them.

"Get lost you prat." Pat spat.

"Come on now, Pat." Sirius soothed, "Don't be like that."

Pat's glare faltered at his smooth words. Lily 's emerald eyes had turned to stone as she glared at the pair of them.

"Do us all a favor and get lost." she snapped.

Sirius turned his charm on Lily but she remained cold and distant.

"Put your wand away, Black! I don't know why you have that out, it doesn't impress any girls here that you can do magic. They can too." someone called from behind.

Professor Sprout came into view. She hit Sirius smartly on the head with the handle of the spade she was holding before pushing the green house doors open.

"Maybe you could stick your wand up your back side and see if that helps your magic any." Lily hissed as she and Pat swept past Sirius.

Remus and Peter joined the two girls at their Flutterbutter hedge where they began to chat easily. James watched Remus with envy as Lily let out a sparkling laugh.

"Sorry that Sirius is such a git. He has it in for pretty girls." Remus apologized.

Lily laughed as she pulled her dragon hide gloves on,

"I'm glad everyone seems to think I'm pretty, but I'm not."

Pat rolled her eyes at Remus over the purple plant.

The rest of Lily's week went fine. Sirius backed off (she had a suspicion that James might have stepped in to in force this) and she and Severus had been partners in both Astronomy and Potions.

It was Thursday evening and Lily sat in the Common Room by the fire with Pat; her books spread around her.

"Slughorn seems to have taken a liking to you." Pat said as Lily scratched a sentence out of her Transfiguration notes.

"Oh, that was because Severus is amazing at Potions. All I did was hand him the things he needed." Lily said.

"Either way, he likes you. You were rather cheeky." Pat observed.

Lily shrugged,

"I don't enjoy other students being made fun of because they can't do something."

Pat watched her as she pulled her Transfiguration homework to her and double checked her answers.

"Why are you doing that now? Its not due until Tuesday." Pat asked.

"I promised Severus--"

"'I promised Severus' its always about that slime ball." someone mocked.

Lily didn't look up as Sirius plopped down next to her.

"I thought I told you to leave me alone." she said as she scribbled furiously on her parchment.

"Ah, Remus and James don't know--"

"What do I not know, Sirius?"

Sirius flinched as James placed his hands on his shoulders. Annoyed, Lily grabbed her bag, shoved her books inside, picked up her parchment, quill, and ink. She glared at the two boys and turned to Pat.

"Its getting crowded down here. Go up with me?" she asked.

Pat nodded and stood up to follow Lily. She shot the two boys an apologetic look as Lily stormed off. James smacked Sirius in the back of the head,

"Lat off her, you prat."


	7. Promise Me

Lily sat gloomily in front of the fire with her arms wrapped around her legs. She sniffed every now and then as she rapidly blinked back her tears.

It was her first Friday at Hogwarts; she had the afternoon off like everyone else, and Severus had ditched her for his new Slytherin friends. The fire became blurry as tears filled her eyes again.

Sirius, James, Remus, and Peter sat in a corner on the other side of the room. James kept glancing over at the lost look on her face. He looked torn between going to help her or staying with his friends.

"She wont talk to _you_, James" Sirius pointed out bluntly.

James cast him a dark look before returning his gaze back on the pitiful figure.

"So? I wasn't going to go." James fibbed.

Sirius watched him for a moment then snorted.

"Yeah…and I'm really a Muggle." Sirius muttered sarcastically.

James sighed and turned his back on the quietly crying girl.

Remus suddenly set aside the calendar he was holding.

"When do we have flying lessons?" he asked.

"Two Thursdays from now. Why?" Peter replied.

"Oh drat," Remus muttered, "that won't do."

He began scribbling on the September page, under the same date he had has flying lessons. Sirius looked curiously at the calendar but Remus stood up abruptly, look terrified.

"What--?"

"I'm going to the dormitory, if you need me." he said hurriedly.

The three boys nodded and Remus hurried towards the staircase. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Lily wipe away tears. On a split of the moment decision, he turned and walked towards her. Lily had her head resting on top of her knees. Her dark red hair hanging was hanging in curtains around her, hiding her face from view. Remus quietly sat down across form her in one of the red, squashy arm chairs.

"Erm…Lily?" he asked uncertainly.

Lily looked up into his young, tired face. Remus had deep, dark shadows beneath his brown eyes. His face was pale and his eyes had a worried, scared look to them.

"'Lo, Remus." she sniffed.

"Something wrong?" he asked as she plucked at a loose thread on her seat. He looked alarmed as it all spilled out,

"Severus said he would be with me this weekend but today in the Great Hall at breakfast he said that he had made plans with some of his other friends for the weekend and Pat is going to be with her older sister Camellia and I have no one to be with."

Lily dissolved into tears again. Remus watched her for a moment.

"I can't believe he did that," she choked, :we're best friends."

Remus patted her arm as she cried some more.

"He's a Slytherin,"

"So?"

"What did you expect, Lily? All of them have Gryf--"

"Don't bring houses into this! He said he would still be my best friend no matter what!" she snapped.

Remus only shrugged and her face fell again. She looked vulnerable and lost as tears welled up in her eyes, making the emerald color glitter. Her lower lip stuck out slightly and when she spoke her voice was a trembling whisper,

"I don't want him to change."

[X]

Later that evening, Pat came into the Common Room with a letter in her hand. Remus stood up and went to join his friends again when she walked over to them.

"That Slytherin boy told me to give you this." she said, handing Lily the letter.

Surprised, Lily took the parchment and opened it up.

_Lils,_

_Sorry I was such a prat today. Let's hang out tomorrow--just you and me. What'd you say?_

_Sev_

"Where is he?" she asked as she finished the letter.

"In the entrance hall." Pat replied.

Lily folded the letter and stuck in in her robes on her way out the portrait hole.

[X]

"Lily!" Severus's gloomy expression lit up when he saw her.

"I can't believe you, Severus. We made PLANS." Lily snapped.

His face fell.

"I know, but they--"

"Are you saying we're not best friends anymore?"

"No!"

His voice echoed around the large space. Lily ran forward and threw her arms around him.

"Don't you _ever_ scare me like that again, Severus Snape." she whispered into his shoulder as he folded his arms around her.

Severus had his hand on her soft red hair. He smoothed it gently and promised,

"I won't."


	8. Remus Disappears

First days just seemed to past, then it turned into weeks, soon months were passing and Lily lost track of time all together. It was on her way to the last flying lessons before Christmas break that she realized someone was missing from her group. She looked around, gazing for the normal hazel eyes that followed her as she walked down the grassy slope with the rest of the first year Gryffindor's. James Potter's head wiped around when he saw Lily's gaze come his way. She counted the normal herd of boys but only found…

"Three? Where's Remus?" she asked Pat who was gazing coldly at the Slytherin's who had just walked up. Severus glared right back as he came to stand next to Lily.

"Who?" he asked as Pat turned her head in the direction of the trouble makers.

"Who knows? He always seems to get sick at this time. Remember when we had our first lesson? He didn't even get to come! He wasn't in the hospital wing. I would know. I had to do that bloody detention for Professor McGonagall and her bloody homework." Pat replied.

Severus snorted but said nothing.

"I'll bet they do." Lily muttered.

Severus grabbed her hand as she began to make her way over to the boys.

"Don't, Lils, they're--"

"It's okay. Sirius isn't all that bad, and James is okay. Peter's really sweet, but I want to know what's wrong with Remus. He's the best out of all them and he's the one--"

"I never said they were bad people. I just said that you should go over there. They're all weirdo's and I can tell that Potter really likes you!" Severus admitted.

Lily laughed and patted his arm.

"He's arrogant, Sev. I wouldn't ever get together with him. Ever." she promised.

Severus let go of her hand and she made her way gracefully over to the three boys who gazed wistfully at the brooms in front of them. Pat and Severus stood back to watch her. After a moment Pat whispered,

"And like you haven't."

A little red colored Severus's cheeks.

"I do not!"

"Don't lie."

Lily's dark red hair rippled behind her in the wind as she made her way towards them. She pulled her winter cloak more firmly around her as the cold air bit at her. Her cheeks were rosy from the exposed air and she tightened the straps on her gloves to help keep her hands warm. She stood in front of the three boys now and she crossed her arms over her chest as she eyed them, trying to decide the best way to ask her question about Remus without seeming that she liked him more then a friend. She didn't want to start any problems within the friends, because she, like Severus, could tell that James Potter had taken a liking to her. She didn't want them to stop being friends just because of her.

"Where's Remus today? He really seemed to like flying last lesson." she finally said.

"What does it matter where Remus is?" Sirius snapped.

James cuffed his ear and shrugged at Lily. She studied them for a minute. Peter was gazing off towards the lake, James was staring at the ground, but Sirius glared at her with a hard, protective, glint in his eyes. She had seen that glint before. He used it on James all the time when he was trying to keep a secret from him. James always found out, Lily didn't know how, and there never seemed to be secrets between the best friends. She could tell they were all lying, except for made Peter. He probably really didn't have any idea where his friend was.

"Well, is he in the hospital wing?" she asked instead of pointing out what she already knew.

"No." Peter answered with a sigh.

"Oh? Where is he if he's ill then?" Lily asked, slightly confused. Wouldn't they take him to the hospital wing if he had been sick this morning?

"We left him in the dormitory. He told us that when he felt he could stand up that he would head up there. We'll go check on him during break, all right? Now leave us alone." Sirius snapped.

"If Pat and the git over there ditched you--" James began.

Lily cut swiftly across him,

"Thank you, Sirius, but you don't have to be so rude. And they didn't ditch me, James. I just came to ask about Remus. At least he's worthy of people's attention."

James looked taken aback as Lily turned and headed back over to her friends.

[X]

"What do you mean he's not in here?" James demanded as Madam Pomfrey stood outside the hospital wing door, "He has to be in there! He's not in the dormitory. Where else could he be?"

Madam Pomfrey went to shut the door,

"I'll ask you to leave again, Mr. Potter, before I bring the headmaster into this. Your friend isn't with me and I don't know where he is. Good night, Mr. Potter."

James stared in disbelief as she shut the door.

"What do you mean he's not in there?"

James spun around to see Severus and Lily standing there. Lily looked upset and she was tugging on the other boys arm, trying to get him to move.

"What does it matter to you?" James demanded.

"I think the headmaster should be told if someone is out of bounds." Severus said.

"Oh, Sev, I highly doubt that Remus is out of bounds. I'm sure Professor Dumbledore might be with him, or Madam Pomfrey might have just said that to keep visitors away. Sometimes they get really sick--"

"Yeah, Snivellus, he's just sick." James sneered.

Lily's cheeks flushed.

"Do NOT call him that!" she yelled, "He never did anything to you to deserve being bullied the way that you're bullying him! Just shut your mouth, Potter!"

James looked stunned.

"Shut my--?"

"Never had anyone talk to you like that, Potter?" Severus sneered back.

"You watch your mouth before I curse it." James warned, pulling out his wand. Lily wiped hers out before either one of them could do anything. She shouted something, a spell that neither James nor Severus knew, and James ducked as a jet of light zoomed over his head, just barley missing him. Lily was right in front of him glaring.

"Don't you EVER threaten him again." she hissed.

James looked like he wanted to hit her. Severus pulled her back, cast James a hard glare, and they headed off down the corridor.

James stared after them, a mixture of fear and surprise on his features.

[X]

Lily hugged her cloak around her as she and Severus walked around the lake on the last day before Christmas break.

"Are you going home for Christmas?" Lily asked as the wind rushed past them.

"No."

"Why not?"

"They don't want me home."

"Sure they do."

"Lily."

"Oh really, Sev, they're your parents!"

"They don't want me at home, Lils. It doesn't matter. Just be sure to send me lots of letters, okay?"

"Well, I'll give you your present before I leave, then."

"You can just send it by post."

"I don't want to send it by post, though. I want to see your face when you open it."

"I'll take a picture."

"This isn't a time for jokes, Sev."

Severus smiled when Lily laughed anyway. He loved the sound of her laugh.

"Well I've got a present for you too. But if you're not going to be here I'm just going to send it by post." he replied as they settled down on the frozen ground beneath the tree.

Lily rolled the snow between her gloves with a little smile on her face.

"If that's what you want to do." she shrugged.

"It is."

She laughed again.

"Well what are we going to do today, Sev?" she asked, throwing her head back as more snow gently fell from the sky.

She gasped when it hit her square in the throat. Severus was already running away yelling back to her over his shoulder,

"A snowball fight!"

Lily rolled up some snow and laughed softly to herself,

"Sometimes, Severus Snape, you're such a Muggle."


	9. Some Day

_Severus,_

_Well, you know how things normally are. Petunia is so mad at me that its starting to scare me. I hate it when she's this angry at me. I can't believe that she is STILL that worked up about the whole Dumbledore letter thing. We only wanted to see what it said. Have you asked Dumbledore about your theory with the Wizards in the post office yet? You should, because I don't think mummy is going to let me get an owl this year either. I want one so bad. Thank you, so VERY much for my Christmas gift! Oh it was amazing, Sev! I've been using it since. Mummy and daddy don't understand the purpose of it at all, and Petunia just glares at it every time she sees it, but I think it's the most amazing gift I've ever received. And especially because its from the wizarding world. You really seem to know me now. You're great, Sev, really great. How did you like my gift? Don't leave anything out! Fill me in on everything that I've missed. Don't leave out a single thing, don't you dare! Thanks again for the cat. I named her Ginger. She's so sweet, Sev! How ever did you afford her? Don't take that the wrong way either. You know what I mean and you know I would rather die then make you mad or upset. Why don't you write your mother? She seems upset lately. She won't tell me why. You know how she is. _

_Yours,_

_Lily._

_Lily signed the parchment with a flourish of her quill. She placed the feather back in the ink jar and placed the parchment in an envelope. She signed it to Severus Snape at Hogwarts, and hurried down below thinking that she would run off to Spinners End and ask Mrs. Snape if she could borrow their owl. _

_Maybe, Lily thought, Mrs. Snape will have a letter to send to Severus this time too. _

"_And where do you think you're going?" a voice demanded._

_Lily turned, one foot on the top of the stairs, to look at Petunia who was standing in the door way of her room. Lily arched an eyebrow, her forehead crinkling in thought._

"_What do you mean?" she asked._

"_Oh like you don't know. You're going to that Snape's house!" Petunia declared._

"_Of course I am. I have to borrow someone's owl, don't I?" Lily asked._

"_No, you don't. Mummy said--"_

"_Mummy should get me my own owl then."_

_Petunia's face went pink. _

"_Who do you think you are?" she snapped._

_Lily looked at her older sister with sad eyes. Lily looked away, turned back to the stairs, and began her descent. Not even half way down the third step she said just loud enough for Petunia to hear her,_

"_The real question is, who do you think you are?"_

_[X]_

_Lily pulled her trunk after her as she climbed off the Hogwarts train. She smiled gratefully at the help she was recieveing as the snow began to fall thicker down upon them. She thanked the man as he helped her heave her trunk into one of the horseless carriages waiting to pull the kids back up to the castle. It was an empty carriage, and Lily was completely happy with that. Ginger would want out soon and she was willing to do that now, but she was scared to do that on the train, because she was in a compartment with James Potter, and Peter Pettigrew. She didn't want either one of them to comment on her new cat. Especially not James._

_As the fat orange and white cat slipped out of her basket that Lily carried her in, the door opened and one more trunk was pushed in._

"_Sorry, miss, but is there enough room in here for one more person?" the man asked._

"_Oh, yes. Sorry. Don't mind me." Lily apologized, as she yanked her trunk away from the door._

_There was shadowy movement outside the door before a boy appeared, his hazel eyes brightening when he saw who he was riding with. Lily wasn't paying any attention. She pulled her journal out from inside the basket that Ginger had been riding in. Ginger was a very well behaved cat, and didn't tear anything up at all. Except for the birds she had caught at home, but that's just a cat's nature. _

_She clicked her Muggle pen, she didn't like using ink and a quill when moving, and began to scribble away. The carriage lurched forward, but Lily didn't look up._

"_How was your break, Evans?" _

_Lily jumped and stared at James Potter who was sitting across from her with an amused expression on his face._

"_What does it matter to you?" Lily asked coldly._

_James merely shrugged, and Lily glared at him. It was quite for a moment and then Lily went back to writing._

"_I'm sorry." _

_Lily said nothing, but her pen paused over the page as she paused to listen to what the boy had to say._

"_Sirius is a prat, and I guess I'm not much better. We don't mean to be rude to your friend or anything. We don't mean to be mean to you either. It just comes naturally. Remus really likes you, friend wise, and hates it when we're mean to you. So I guess we're done with that. I'm sorry, Lily, really. Maybe we could be friends now?" _

_He sounds so hopeful, Lily realized as she looked up at him._

"_Yeah," she nodded, "maybe we can. If you behave yourself."_

_As the carriage began to slow James smiled and said,_

"_Of course I can."_

_Lily nodded and then the carriage stopped. James helped her get Ginger back in the basket. He lifted her trunk down to her and Lily thanked him as Severus and Sirius appeared. They walked a distance from each other and frowned hard when they realized they were going to the same carriage. Severus heaved a sigh, and Sirius rolled his eyes at James. The two boys went to stand next to their best friend. Lily had Ginger's basket under one arm and hold of her trunk with the other. James didn't have anything in his hands yet._

"_Is that Ginger?" Severus asked._

_Lily nodded, her emerald eyes shining._

"_She's really amazing, Sev. Thanks again."_

_The boy only nodded as he eyed the two boys before them. It was quite for a moment as Lily watched James and Sirius mutter to one another. Silence followed their whispered conversation and then James turned to Lily._

"_Well," he said holding out his hand, "I hope this is the start of a new friendship."_

_Lily handed Ginger's basket to Severus and placed her free hand inside James's._

"_Yes. I hope it is too."_

_James didn't release her hand immediately. _

"_May I speak with you privately for a moment?" he asked._

_Lily tried to hide her surprise when Sirius hissed,_

"_Don't, James."_

"_Sure." Lily nodded._

_Severus leaned over and his lips brushed her ear when he whispered,_

"_Don't. Come on. Lets just go inside."_

_Lily shook her head._

"_Wait for me in the entrance hall. I'll be right there." she promised. _

_Severus watched her for a moment then grabbed Lily's trunk handle and pulled it through the snow with Ginger's basket under his arm. Sirius didn't move right away. He stared at James for a moment, then after seeing what he said wasn't going to make a difference, he grabbed James's trunk and took off after Severus. Lily turned to look at James. _

"_Well," she said, "What is it?"_

_James hesitated then admitted slowly,_

"_I really do like you, Lily. Why don't you just give us a shot? Come on. It would be a really nice time, and I just really--"_

"_I'm sorry James," Lily interrupted._

_It was silent for a moment._

"_I like you too, but I just don't think I want to start that yet. I'm Muggle born, remember? I don't think I can handle a magical relationship like mine and yours would be yet." she went on. _

_There was a pause and then--_

"_So later on?"_

_Lily smiled and nodded,_

"_Yeah. Later on."_

_James squeezed her hand and then let it go. _

"_Well thanks, Lily. That means a lot." he said as they turned and began to walk back up to the castle. Lily smiled, said goodbye to him and Sirius, then turned to Severus who was looking sour. As the two boys disappeared up to the Gryffindor common room she studied her best friend._

"_What is it, Sev?" she asked._

"_You have to promise me that you'll never get into something with Potter." Severus said._

"_I can't do that, Sev!" Lily objected._

"_Why not?" he demanded._

"_I really do like him, but I'm just not ready for that. I promise him later on, maybe. I'm not promising anything to anyone, though. I might or I might not. We'll just find out. We do have seven years and then you and I have the summer together. Who knows what's going to happen?" she replied._

_Severus nodded and hugged her as they got ready to depart to their common rooms._

"_Breakfast tomorrow? Slytherin table?" he asked as she stepped back._

"_Why not Gryffindor?" Lily requested._

_Severus made a face and she smiled,_

"_Sure. Slytherin."_

_Severus smiled back and Pat walked forward to introduce Lily to a new girl and help her with her trunk. Lily chatted away to the new girl, Mable, as they walked up the steps. Severus watched her go with something nagging away at him._

_He knew what was going, but he didn't want it to. He wanted her to be with him. _

_No one else deserved her._


	10. Time Is Fast

Days, weeks, months, years. Time seemed to fly. Soon Lily was in her third year with Severus and things were starting to get harder between the two. James had become much more likable and Sirius much more bearable. She was very close to Remus and loved him like she loved a brother and Peter was…well he was Peter. Lily knew that Severus was jealous, Pat had been kind enough to point that out, but she wasn't just ready to tell him that she knew. She wanted this to fall into place itself. Maybe one day she and Severus could be like that, but for now she didn't want that. She just wanted the best friend that she knew she would never find in anyone other then Severus Snape--the boy with enough nerve to befriend a Muggle.

"You know it's the full moon tonight, Lils." Severus said as he and Lily made their way back to the castle at the sound of the bell.

Lily was rubbing some of the dirt off her hands that had slipped inside her gloves during the Herbology lesson of the day. She didn't look up at Severus as he said that.

"Well I suppose it is. Why do you say that?" she asked.

"Have you noticed how that Lupin boy is always ill on the full moon? His mother must be a kind of monster or something if she drags him away from school just to see her--"

"Oh, Sev, don't say that! I hear she's dying…"

"Yeah…who told you that?"

"James--"

"Of course he did. And you honestly believe him?"

Lily finally looked up at him, her emerald eyes snapping,

"Well what do you expect me to believe? That he's some kind of werewolf?"

"That's what I think."

"Quit being ridiculous. I highly doubt that Professor Dumbledore would let a werewolf come to Hogwarts. It's not safe." Lily rolled her eyes as they walked up the steps to the entrance hall.

Severus said nothing as Lily began to chew on her lip. He could almost hear the click as she put two and two together.

"Well, so what if his mum's a werewolf? Its not like he is." Lily picked the argument back up as they paused on their way to lunch.

"How do we know that its not just an excuse and that he really is the werewolf?" Severus asked.

"Don't be stupid! Of course he's not." Lily snapped.

Severus just shook his head at her as she frowned harder at him. A little dent had appeared in-between her eyes.

"I'm not talking about it anymore, Sev." she sighed.

Severus shrugged and Lily entered the Great Hall.

"Lunch together?" he asked.

"Only if we sit at my table. I sat at yours this morning for breakfast." she replied.

"Well…"

"I guess not then."

Severus frowned hard as Lily turned and headed off in the other direction.


	11. Dark Magic

Everyone was shocked. Lily had her hand clamped over her mouth, her other hand clutching Severus's arm. James looked torn between letting Sirius go curse the boy and holding him close so he didn't get in trouble.

"Mulciber--let it go. She didn't--"

"Shut up, Snape. I don't like it when stupid little--"

"Don't. Its not worth it." Severus urged as Lily let out a squeak of terror.

There was a loose circle out on the grounds. A girl, one of Lily's friends, was staring a boy in the face. She was taunting him wit h her stare.

"Mary," Lily whispered, "leave him alone."

Mary didn't acknowledge the sound of Lily's voice.

"Severus! Do something!" Lily gasped.

"Mul--"

"_Cruc_--"

"_Expelliarmus!"_ James and Severus had both shouted at the same moment. Both spells hit Mulciber and his wand went flying as he was thrown backwards. Lily and Pat rushed forward to Mary who was cowering on the ground.

"That was Dark Magic!" Mary screamed.

"What is all this?" Professor McGonagall demanded as she appeared.

"Snape and Potter just cursed Mul--"

"Shut your trap, Avery!" Sirius bellowed.

"Mr. Black!" McGonagall gasped.

"Please, Professor, Severus and James were trying to stop him from cursing Mary. He was upset--"

"Don't soften the story up for him, Lily!" Mary screeched, "Mulciber just tried to use an Unforgivable Curse on me for bumping into him and not apologizing. All because I'm a Muggle!" she burst into tears.

"And what do Snape and Potter have to do with this?" McGonagall demanded.

"They both tried to disarm him at the same time," Pat said.

McGonagall scooped up Mulciber's wand, conjured a stretcher out of thin air, and walked off back towards the castle. The crowd wandered off talking in breathless whispers about what had happened.

James, Sirius, and Severus crouched down next to the three girls on the ground. Lily glared at Severus over the top of Mary's head.

"How can you be friends with such horrible people?"


	12. At The Whomping Willow

James spluttered out the story to a wide eyed Lily in the Common Room.

"…I stopped him before got down there though. Its okay. He's in the Hospital Wing--"

"How _dare _you put him in danger like that!" Lily screeched.

James flinched away from her as if she had hit him. Her eyes were daggers and her words pierced him,

"You _idiot_! You could have _killed _him! You-you-" she took a deep breath, "Why would you send him to the Whomping Willow! _Why_?"

"Sirius thought--"

"No! Sirius doesn't ever think so he didn't' think about this at all!" Lily snapped.

"Well, Sirius assumed it would be a funny joke to send him down there…"

Lily turned on Sirius who shrunk under her cold glare.

"You little git." she hissed.

"Nothing happened! He just got a little beat up by the tree, I swear!" Sirius yelped.

"Sirius Black I should--"

"Lily, just calm down--"

"You better not tell _me _to calm down, James Potter, you better get down on your hands and knees and beg for forgiveness before I curse you and Sirius to another planet!" Lily screamed, pulling her wand out.

"We're sorry!" the boys yelled.

"Where's. Remus?" Lily hissed between clenched teeth.

"He left a few days ago to go visit his mother--"

"The second he gets back we'll see what he has to say about this. I hope Dumbledore puts you In detention for the rest of the year! That was so stupid and idiotic it doesn't surprise me that you came up with it!"

She glared at the boys one more time before turning and storming out the portrait hole.

"Remus is going to murder you two." Peter said.

"Not helping." Sirius snapped.

"I'm just saying--"

"I'm just saying that I'll hex you into next week if you don't shut your trap." Sirius threatened.

Peter fell silent as he watched Sirius and James think things over.

"I just hope Snape doesn't tell Lily what he saw." James fretted.

"You reckon he saw Mooney?" Sirius asked.

"I think so. His eyes were huge."

"Aw hell," Sirius whimpered.

James pulled a piece of parchment to him. He tapped it with his wand.

"Well, Prongs, it was nice knowing you." Sirius said as they both watched Remus's dot come up the tunnel from the map.

"As it was you, Padfoot." James sighed.

The three marauders waited in silence as the fourth creator made his way back to them.

[X]

Lily and Severus were walking across the courtyard ater dinner talking of many things. Of course it turned into an argument. To Lily it felt like all their conversations now did.

"…thought we were supposed to be friends? Best friends?" Severus demanded.

"We are Sev, but I just don't like the people you're hanging around with! I'm sorry, but I _detest _Aver and Mulciber. _Mulciber_! What do you see in him, Sev? He's creepy! You saw what he tried to do to Mary Macdonald the other day!" Lily leaned again a pillar and looked up into her best friends face.

"That was nothing, Lils." Severus replied.

"Nothing? Is anything really nothing anymore?" Lily asked.

She could see that he had a guard up and she didn't understand why. Best friends…they were best friends. There shouldn't be any secrets. But Severus had one and she knew he wasn't telling her.

"It was just a laugh--"

"That's not amusing! Its Dark Magic and if you think its funny--"

"What about the stuff Potter and his lot get into?" Severus demanded.

He couldn't hide the resent in his voice or expression.

"What does Potter have to do with anything?" Lily asked.

"They sneak out at night and there's something wrong with that Lupin kid." he returned.

"He's ill--"

"Every month at full moon?" Severus interrupted.

"I know your theory. Why are you so obsessed with them anyway? Why do you care what they do at night?" there was a cold edge to Lily's voice.

"I'm just trying to show you they're not as wonderful as everyone thinks." he muttered.

His gaze was intense on her face. She couldn't help but blush.

She dropped her voice,

"They don't use Dark Magic though. And you're being really ungrateful. I know what happened the other night with the Whomping Willow. I know James Potter saved you--"

"Saved? Saved?" Severus spluttered, "You think he's playing the hero? He was saving his neck and his friends' too! You're not going to--I won't let you--"

"_Let _me? _LET _me?"

"I didn't mean--I just don't want you to make a fool of--he fancies you! James Potter fancies you! And he's not…everyone thinks…big Quidditch hero…" Severus's dislike and strange sense of bitterness had him speechless and Lily's eyebrows were in danger of disappearing into her hair.

"I know that James Potter is an arrogant toerag. I don't' need you to tell me that." Lily cut across him.

Severus stood in silence. After a moment she continued,

"But Mulcriber's and Avery's taste of humor is evil. Sev, I don't understand how you can be with them."

"Lily--"

"Don't bother to explain. I just want to be best friends again. Let go of all you theories on Potter. Just…just drop it. He's not worth our time, Sev." she said.

Severus nodded and they walked away, back to the castle. If Lily saw the spring in his step she didn't comment on it, but it was there.


	13. Pushed Away

A few years passed again, the time speeding by. Lily soon found herself in her fifth year at Hogwarts. She and Severus were falling further apart and they both could see it. The more they drifted the harder he seemed to hold onto her. She didn't mind. She really did love him…but she wasn't in love with him the way he seemed to be with her. She didn't want this friendship to end unless it had to. He was the first friend she ever really had. Petunia had left her. There wasn't any hope of getting her older sister back. The girl hated her now and Lily found that this didn't bother her as much as she thought it would. Ever since Severus had first told her that she was a Witch, Lily had thrown herself into this new world, finally happy for an explaination for what she could do. Petunia was just jealous, but there wasn't anything Lily could do that could get her sister to change. Not everyone had magic, Lily had tried to explain, you just have to accept that. Of course, Petunia hates being wrong, so Lily never got her point across her. Her sister had shut her away…and she wasn't going to let her back in.

_Sev,_

_Petunia is being a miserable old hag like always. Yes, that's right, I just called her a hag. I wish you could see the way she's acting. Its…well its sort of annoying. She's acting like the little sister. I can't believe I used to look up to her. I still do, in some ways, but she just won't accept that. Its like the friendship we used to have is gone…it feels like I can't ever get her back. This is a hard thing to accept but I have more people, people like me, and I don't need her anymore. Petunia can do what she wants. I don't care. I only care that I get my magical education finished and get to start a new life. Have you thought anymore about what you're going to do when you leave school? I hope you took my warning into consideration, Sev, because I don't want you to become a Death Eater. Pat told me before we left for home that You-Know-Who treats his followers horribly. I don't want you to get hurt, Sev. Please don't do what I think you're going to do. Don't join Him just so you can fit in. Fitting in doesn't matter all that much. I would know. Sometimes it's a good thing to be different. Please, Sev, for me. _

_With love,_

_Lily_

"What are you doing? Are you writing to that stupid boy?" a shrill voice demanded.

"Get out of my room." Lily snapped, folding the parchment up.

"Don't you dare send that to him! I'll--"

"Look, Petunia. I don't care what you do. Go tell mum. I don't care. I'm not in the mood. I'm sick of you always telling me what to do. I'm not a little girl anymore." Lily sighed.

"You're my little sister--"

"And you're my big sister. I love you, Tuney, but you're being ungrateful towards me. If you're going to act like that then I'm not going to treat you with the respect that you deserve. Treat people the way you would like to be treated, Tuney. Just because you're older doesn't give you the right to tell me who I can mail and who I can't." Lily interrupted, pushing past her older sister.

Petunia followed behind her, fuming.

"Mum? Can I mail this letter?" Lily called.

"Of course darling." Mrs. Evans called back.

"Thanks!" Lily picked the owl up on her arm and carried it back to her room with her, cooing softly. She had been given the owl in her third year at Hogwarts so she wouldn't have to bother the Snape's as much. Severus was gone away to some kind of camp at the moment and that's why Lily was writing him. It was a Wizard's camp and she was sure he was having some fun despite his gloomy letters.

"Why do you even talk to him? He's a freak." Petunia said.

"He's no more a freak then you or I." Lily returned, setting the owl on the window sill.

"Why didn't you mail it down there?" her sister demanded.

"Look, I don't have time for all these questions. I've got summer course work that I have to do. If I don't get this finished by the time I'm back at Hogwarts I'm in big trouble, Tuney. So if you don't mind leaving, please do." Lily interrupted again.

"I wish you would--"

"Just go."

Petunia looked hurt as Lily opened the window and the brown and white owl flew off in the direction of Severus's camp. Lily turned around and put her hands on her hips.

"Or you can stand in her and watch me while I write with my 'freak' stuff." Lily offered.

"I don't care anything about your freak work." Petunia sneered.

"If you don't care then get out." Lily returned.

"Fine!"

"Fine."

Petunia glared at her little sister, turned on her heel, and marched out of the room. She slammed the door shut behind her. Lily sat down on the edge of her bed and sniffed; tears filling her eyes. She hated being mean to Petunia but her older sister was being…she didn't even know what she was being. One thing was sure that she wasn't herself anymore. Lily adored her, and Petunia just didn't care anymore. Lily still loved her but it was like Petunia didn't even want to acknowledge the exsist of her little sister. The little girl that had followed her around and was willing to do whatever the elder wanted. It was like all the games and good times they had had before Lily started Hogwarts had disappeared. Just because Lily went somewhere else that Petunia didn't, just because Lily was more gifted then Petunia, it was like…it was like she wasn't allowed to be her sister anymore.

"'Lo, Ginger," Lily whispered miserably as the fat cat rubbed up against her purring, "At least I still have you and Severus to be my friends."

The cat meowed softly, kneading Lily's hand with her head. Lily smoothed the soft fur as she gazed out the window, longing for Severus to return.

[X]

_Lils,_

_Camp sucks. I wish I could back home and sit with you under the tree in front of my house like we used to do. Stupid mum sending me here. I can't stand her sometimes. I'm sorry Petunia is acting that way. Maybe we should hex her over at my house sometime. You know she deserves it. I really miss you, Lils. I hope I can make it home soon. This place sucks so much. All the people here are…well people. I never said I was going to be a Death Eater just to fit in--I didn't say I was going to be a Death Eater at all. I don't know what makes you think that but I promise I'm not going to be what the rest of them want to be. We just have to promise to stay in touch after graduation. I can't believe we're both going such different ways. It's a good thing we're best friends, Lils. I don't know where I would be without you. _

_Yours,_

_Severus_


	14. Fifth Year's Feast

Sorry! I didn't mean to make you all wait so long for this one. I feel horrible now, lol. Sorry again. We're moving this summer and we had to redo the house to be put on the market. I'll be sure to add a lot of chapters for you today while I have the computer. We'll be moving soon and I won't be able to update till everything is moved into the new house.

Sorry again everyone. Reviews would be nice. :]

--Disaster

[X]

"Oh isn't it great to be back!" Lily clapped her hands as the carriages pulled up the drive to Hogwarts.

"Yeah," Severus replied, "Great."

Lily looked over at him sadly,

"Don't worry Sev. We'll still be friends no matter what happens this year. We always have been and we always will be. I promise."

Severus didn't look over at her as she took hold of his hand at the words 'I promise.' He felt guilty for lying to her. They both knew he wanted to join You-Know-Who though she didn't understand why. He felt the need to make his mother and father proud. It wasn't just that…he felt You-Know-Who had the right views on Muggle borns…well all Muggles that is except for Lily. Hopefully no harm would come to her after he joined. He would be sure to keep her safe by telling You-Know-Who that she was the smartest Mud Blood ever to be seen at Hogwarts. And he still believes that true. Lily Evans is a genius.

Lily and Severus parted in the Great Hall as they went to their separate house tables. Severus watched her gloomily from next to one of his sides as she laughed and ate with her friends. He picked at his food, not hungry at all. He watched as Lily laughed at something Pat had just told her. He looked a little further down the table to see James Potter watching her too. Severus remembered with a jolt to his stomach that Lily had promised sometime soon she would give James a chance. Severus didn't think James deserved that chance. She could do so much better then him. She should chose him, Severus- not James.

"Hey there Evans,"

Lily looked up and smiled at James who was standing behind Pat. Pat rolled her eyes and looked down at her food.

"'Lo James," she smiled.

"Did you have a good summer?" he asked.

"It was a summer," she shrugged, "How was yours?"

"Sirius and me had some fun," he grinned wickedly.

"I don't find that hard to believe," she muttered.

James laughed and sat down next to Pat. Lily could feel Sirius, Remus, and Peter looking at her from down the table.

"Why don't you go join your cult before they come jinx us. I know Sirius can talk Remus into it." Pat said.

James laughed and gave Sirius a thumbs up from down the table.

"He won't do anything," James said, "Sirius likes Lily."

Lily blushed when his gaze fell on her. She stuck her fork in her mouth again and looked up at James with a curious expression her face.

"Well, Potter, I'm not going to have time for any of your crap this year. It's O.W.L year and I'm afraid I will actually have to study for these," Lily said.

"Oh come on Evans. You don't have to study for anything. You're mind automatically gives you the answers," James laughed.

"There's this thing called studying, James. My brain doesn't just know." Lily rolled her eyes.

James opened his mouth to retort but Dumbledore stood up for his usual beginning of the year speech. Lily was paying rapt attention to him so James decided to follow her lead. He could feel Severus watching him from across the hall but he didn't look over the boy.

_Snivellus, _He thought bitterly, _This is my year._


	15. Study Group

I'm so very thankful for all the reviews I'm getting. Sorry about the grammatical errors, I suck at grammar, but I'm getting better…well I hope I am, anyway. Thanks again for all the reviews. Its really boosting my hope for where this can go from here. More reviews are welcome and I enjoy constructive criticism as well. :]

Enjoy.

--Disaster

[X]

Work papers were piled onto the fifth years as the school year progressed slowly. Lily found her time being taken away from her as she spent night after night pouring over her course work with the four Marauders in the Common Room. Severus was becoming steadily more gloomy as he imagined Lily on the late school nights snuggled up with James Potter in some far off corner in the Common Room working on Transfiguration homework or a Potion's work sheet. This wasn't the case, not really, but seeing as Lily didn't have time to talk to him much anymore she couldn't push away his fears. She knew he was having them but there wasn't anyway she could fix them. Months passed and the seasons changed but Lily barley noticed the difference.

It was a Thursday in the beginning of December and Lily was sitting in the corner of the Common Room with James, Peter, Sirius, Remus, and Pat working on the Transfiguration essay. The only sound was the crackling of the fire and the scratching of their quills as they moved across the parchment.

"We have a Quidditch game tomorrow," James yawned, throwing his quill down and stretching.

"What time is it?" Lily asked, not looking up from her paper.

"One thirty," Sirius replied groggily.

"Damn," Remus groaned, rubbing his eyes with his fists.

Peter snorted in his sleep. James looked over at him and snorted. Peter's face was pressed against the parchment that he had just written a fresh sentence on. Sirius seemed to read his mind as he grinned over at the fat little boy too.

"Anybody else finished the Charms questions?" Lily asked with a yawn.

"I haven't," Pat yawned, "And they're due tomorrow along with this stupid essay."

"I finished," Lily said.

"So have I," Remus replied.

Both of them pushed their answers to the middle of the circle and Sirius snatched Remus's before anybody could reach it. Pat rolled her eyes and sat Lily's page between herself and James. Everyone returned their attention to the essay or Charms questions as the clock ticked on deeper into the night. Around two fifteen Sirius threw his quill down and buried his face in his arms.

"I can't take anymore," he groaned, "I swear I think my head is going to explode."

"You're head can't really explode," Lily and Remus replied at once.

"Oh shut up," he yawned.

Lily leaned sleepily against James's arm as she yawned and read over her newly finished Transfiguration essay.

"I'll be lucky to get an A for this one," Lily yawned.

James put his arm around Lily's shoulders. Not really aware of what she was doing, Lily leaned into his side. James pulled her closer to him and Lily rested her head on his shoulder. Sirius raised his eyebrows at his friend but James shook his head slightly in response. Pat didn't even look over at them as Lily yawned again. James rested his cheek happily on top of her head. Pat put her quill down and rolled her parchment up.

"I'm done," she yawned, stretching out on the floor.

Sirius was on her other side. He put his arm across her back and winked at James.

"Not even when I'm tired, Black." Pat snapped.

Shrugging, Sirius laid down next to her with a yawn. Pat didn't object as she snuggled into his side. She seemed to forget her reluctance with him as he put his arm around her waist and pulled her closer. Peter let out a snore from across the circle next to Remus.

"Shut up, you big fat log," Remus snapped, shoving into the boy.

Peter fell over and awoke with a loud snort. Ink coated the side of his face. James and Sirius let out small chuckles as the girls grinned sleepily at him. Peter yawned and slumped back over his parchment with a snore. Remus shot him a nasty look before stretching out on the floor as well, curling up like a dog. Nobody commented on the odd pose. It was normal for him.

"Acting a little doggy tonight, Mooney?" Sirius asked.

"Shut up Padfoot," Remus muttered.

Lily closed her eyes in content as James warm, strong arms wound around her, pulling her closer. She curled her fingers around his shirt and pulled herself even closer so there wasn't any space between the two of them. Remus and Sirius both sighed softly in their sleep. Pat rolled over and buried her face in Sirius's shirt as she sighed too. Peter snorted and James's hand rubbed Lily's arm gently.

"You're beautiful," he whispered softly in her ear.

"Don't flatter me," she sighed.

James reached up and tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear.

"It's not flattery if it's true," he breathed.

Lily shivered as his breath tickled her skin. James pulled her a little closer thinking she was cold and rubbed her arm to keep her warm with friction.

"Are you coming to the match Saturday?" he asked softly.

"Probably. It's a big match isn't it?" Lily yawned.

"Yeah…against Hufflepuff. We'll smoke them." James chuckled softly.

"Well that's good," Lily murmured groggily.

They were quite for a moment as they both dozed off for a moment.

"Lily?"

"Hmmm?"

"I mean it when I told you I like you. I'm not going to keep on pretending that its not bugging me to have you not mine. Come on. Date me."

"Not yet."

"Why?"

"I'm just not ready."

"I can't wait much longer…"

"Just a little while longer, I promise."

"Fine…"

Lily pressed her lips to his cheek and smiled sleepily up at him before curling back up into his side.

"Thanks James,"

James stared down at her, all intentions of sleeping gone. Lily dozed off a few seconds later and he wondered what she was dreaming. He put his cheek on top of her head again, totally shocked. Lily Evans had just kissed his cheek. He couldn't help but grin and think,

_I actually have a chance. I can't screw this up again._


	16. James's Declare

"O.W.L testing begins next week!" Flitwick called to the Gryffindor class as everyone hurried out the door.

"Can you believe its already here? It's crazy to think about it," Lily said to Pat as they walked down the corridor to lunch.

"Yeah," Pat yawned, "one more late night like last week and I'll pass out during testing."

Lily laughed as they sat down in the middle of the table. A few minutes later and the four Marauders joined them for lunch. The food appeared and everyone began shoveling it onto their plates. Lily and Remus had both pulled their Charms essay's out and were starting on them as they ate quickly.

"What are you going to do after you get done eating?" Sirius snorted, "Go to the library and snuggle up with Madam Pince? Tell me if you manage to get her away from Filch."

"Oh shut up. Madam Pince and Filch aren't dating," Lily rolled her eyes.

"I don't know, Evans. We've seen them curling up in the teachers lounge." Sirius winked at her.

Lily rolled her eyes again and scribbled at the parchment. James hadn't said a word and just kept shoveling food in his mouth while Peter drooled on the table. James and Sirius both eyed the pair as they crouched over their parchment; quills flying.

"I don't understand why you don't just wait till the Common Room tonight," Sirius said.

"Because I'm actually going to get some sleep tonight," Lily replied with a yawn.

"That's a good idea!" Pat grinned, pulling her own essay out of her bag.

"I need the rest too," Remus said softly.

"That's right…" James nodded.

"Are we going to be able to come this time, Mooney?" Sirius asked.

"No. You need to be sure you keep up on your school work. All of us got too far behind the last time." Remus replied.

"Go where?" Lily asked.

"Nowhere," the three said quickly.

Lily rose her eyebrows but said nothing. She stood up and hurried out of the room calling over her shoulder,

"I'll see you next lesson!"

A few minutes later Pat got up and followed after her towards the library. Nobody said anything as Remus kept scribbling on his parchment while the others ate and Peter snored.

"Someone wake him up," Remus finally snapped.

Sirius reached over and clobbered the boy in the back of his head,

"Oy! Get up fatty!"

"Padfoot!"

"What? He's up isn't he?"

Remus gave Sirius a dirty look before returning his attention back to the essay for Charms.

"Full moon isn't going to be any fun if we have to stay cooped up in the Common Room, Mooney." James muttered.

"You can't come, okay? We shouldn't be doing it anyway. What would Dumbledore think?" Remus shook his head.

"Oh yes," Sirius rolled his eyes, "Lets all just bow down to Dumbledore the great, shall we? We don't have anything else on our hands. Come on, Mooney, I'm sure Dumbledore broke rules while he was at Hogwarts. What kid hasn't?"

"Lily," James replied immediately.

"That's not true. She's best friends with Snivellus. That's a big rule breaker right there," Peter chirped up.

James shot him a dirty look before pulling his own essay out.

"What're you doing that for?" Sirius demanded.

"If Lily isn't going to be in the Common Room working on it tonight why should I?" he asked.

Sirius slammed his hand down on top of James's essay.

"We as Marauders _never _do our homework early." Sirius gave him a withering look, _"EVER."_

"Stop being dramatic," James muttered.

"Snap out of it Prongs!" Sirius shouted.

A few people turned to look at the four in surprise. Sirius gave them a harsh glare and they looked away quickly, muttering amongst themselves. Sirius turned back to James and surveyed him coldly. Remus watched them both over the edge of his parchment. Peter sat with his mouth gaping open.

"I have a chance, Padfoot," James said softly, "I have a chance to show her that I'm not the bad person that she thinks I am. Just let me have that chance, okay? Its not always going to be just about you and me. Sure we've had some big laughs and we've been in detention more then we've been in actual lessons, but that's all over now. Okay- I take that back. Its not completely over but I'm not going to do that kind of stuff in front of her anymore. This is important to me, Padfoot. I have to have her."

Sirius shook his head softly,

"What men do for love."

James grinned.

"In the mean time," he said slowly, looking around the Great Hall.

James stood up in his seat and lobbed a spoon of mashed potatoes at the high table. It smacked McGonagall right in the face. She spun around and glared at James who was standing on the bench waving at her with a crooked smile in place.

"Potter!" she yelled, "Come here!"

Sirius jumped up and stuck a roll in his pocket. He winked at James and the pair strolled up the two tables towards the High Table. James leaned his elbow against the edge and winked at her.

"How are we doing today?" he smiled.

"Stop the flattery, Potter." she snapped.

James shrugged and simply smiled at her. Sirius had the roll out. He threw it in the air and caught it as he gazed up at the enchanted ceiling.

"Put that away, Black," McGonagall ordered.

Sirius heaved a sigh and made to catch the roll. It grazed off his fingertips and landed on top of Professor Flitwick's hat. He jumped and stared down the table at McGonagall and the two boys.

"Sorry, sir!" Sirius called.

"That is it! I am sick of your fooling around in the Great Hall. You will have detention with me tonight for the rest of the week. Six o'clock. My office. Go to class." she ordered.

The boys turned and walked away. As they walked towards the doors James looked over at Sirius and laughed,

"I never said I couldn't goof off when Lily wasn't around."


	17. OWL Day

The Great Hall was full of sunshine. A few students gazed longingly out the window instead of down at their examination paper. It was O.W.L day for the Defense Against the Dark Arts written examination. A hundred small tables all sat facing the same way in the large room. Examination day was a boring day for everyone. The warm sunshine made people drowsy as they bent low over their parchment or stared blankly into space as they tried to think of the correct answer. One boy was even asleep.

"Five more minutes!" Professor Flitwick was walking past a boy with black untidy hair.

James yawned widely and rumpled up his hair, which caused it to stick up making it even messier then it had been two seconds before. He glanced over at Flitwick, then turned in his seat and grinned at Sirius four seats behind him. Sirius gave James a thumps-up and titled his chair back on two legs, completely at ease. His dark hair fell into his eyes with the casual elegance that James could never achieve. Pat was giving Sirius a hopeful look from her seat as she sat her quill down. And two seats along from her sat Remus. Remus was looking very peaky- full moon was in a few days- and very absorbed with his exam. He re-read his answers and scratched his chin with the end of his quill, frowning. James had turned back around and was doodling on a piece of scratch parchment. He had drawn a snitch, a broom, a dung bomb and was now tracing out the words L.E.

"Quills down, please! Kindly remain seated while I collect your parchment!" Flitwick braced his feet and stuck his wand in the air, _"Accio!"_

He was still knocked backward several feet as the hundreds of parchment slammed into him. A few of the people in the front desks stood up and helped him back to his feet.

"You're free to go!" he called to the room after thanking the students.

James quickly crossed out the L.E. he had been drawing, jumping to his feet, stuffed his quill and question paper into his bag, and walked over to join Sirius who stood waiting for him. Severus was walking just a few feet away, still absorbed in his examination paper.

"Did you like question ten, Moony?" Sirius asked while they emerged from the Hall.

"Loved it. 'Give five signs that identify the werewolf.' It was an excellent question," Remus grinned.

"Do you think you managed to get all the signs?" James asked in tones of mock concern.

"Think I did," Remus shrugged while they walked towards the lake, "One: He's sitting in my chair. Two: He's wearing my clothes. Three: His name's Remus Lupin…"

Everyone laughed except for Wormtail.

"I got the snout shape, the pupils of the eyes, and the tufted tail, but I couldn't think of what else--"

"How thick are you, Wormtail? You run with a werewolf once a month--"

"Keep your voice down, Prongs." Remus urged.

Severus was walking a few feet away, completely absorbed in his O.W.L questions. The Marauders set off towards the lake with Severus trailing unconsciously behind them.

"Well I thought the paper was a piece of cake. I'll be surprised if I don't get an Outstanding at least." Sirius said as they sat down under a tree near the edge of the lake.

"Me too," James replied, pulling a struggling Snitch out of his pocket.

"Where'd you get that?"

"Nicked it."

James began playing with the Snitch while Peter sat next to him, his mouth open in awe. James looked over the dazzling lake and saw Lily with a group of her friends across it with their shoes and socks off, cooling their feet in the lake's cool waters. Remus had pulled out a book, James was still playing with the Snitch, Wormtail was watching, and Sirius was looking around bored. James was letting the Snitch zoom farther and farther away then making a surprising snatch at the last second causing Wormtail to clap and cheer. After five minutes of this Sirius finally got annoyed and looked over at the pair,

"Put that away, will you? Preferably before Wormtail wets himself from excitement."

Peter turned slightly pink and James grinned.

"If it bothers you," James laughed, shoving the Snitch back in his pocket.

"I'm bored. Sure wish it was full moon," Sirius yawned.

"You might," Remus made a face and held the book out to Sirius, "We've still got Transfiguration. If you're so bored you can test me…here."

"I don't need to look at that rubbish, I know it all." he snorted.

James had turned around and spotted Severus sitting a few feet away from them, immersed in his papers.

"This'll liven you up, Padfoot. Look who it is," James said quietly.

Sirius turned his head. He became very still and grinned at the unsuspecting boy sitting near them.

"Excellent…_Snivellus,_" he grinned.

Severus got to his feet and stowed the O.W.L. paper in his bag. A she emerged from the shadows of the bushes and set off across the grass, Sirius and James stood up. Remus and Wormtail remained sitting. Remus was still looking down at his book but his eyes weren't moving across the page. A slight line had appeared between his eyebrows. Wormtail was looking from Sirius to James and then to Severus with a look of anticipation his on his face.

"All right, Snivellus?" James called loudly over to him.

Severus reacted fast. It was almost like he had been expecting an attack- which he probably had. He plunged his hand into his robes and his wand was halfway into the air when James shouted,

"_Expelliarmus!"_

Severus's wand flew a feet into the air and fell with a little thud on to the grass behind him. Sirius let out his bark like laugh.

"_Impedimenta!"_ Sirius grinned, pointing his wand at Severus who was knocked off his feet through the halfway dive towards his own fallen wand.

Students had turned up to watch. Some look apprehensive while others looked entertained. Severus was on the ground panting. James and Sirius advanced on him, wands up, James kept glancing over at his shoulder towards the girls at the waters edge as they advanced. He was worried that Lily would notice now that a crowd had turned up. That was the last thing James needed, was Lily to come storming over and yell at him.

"How did the exam go, Snivelly?" James asked with a mock smile.

"I was watching him, Prongs. He had his nose touching the parchment the whole time. There'll be big great grease marks all over it. They won't be able to read a word." Sirius replied viciously.

Several of the people watching laughed. Severus was trying to get up but the jinx was still operating on him. He struggled as though bound by invisible ropes.

"You-- wait," Severus panted, glaring up at James, "You wait…"

"Wait for what? What ar eyou going to do, Snivelly? Wipe your nose on us?" Sirius replied coolly.

Severus shouted a stream of mixed swear words and hexs as he struggled to reach his wand.

"You shouldn't talk like that, Snivelly. Didn't you mother ever tell you that? Wash out your mouth. _Scourgify," _James answered coldly.

Pink soap bubbles streamed from Severus's mouth at once. The froth was covering his lips, making him gag and choke--

"Leave him ALONE!"

James and Sirius whirled around. James let out a little groan as he saw Lily standing there, fists clenched, eyes wide and bright.

"All right, Evans?" James asked with a slight cough.

"Leave him alone," Lily repeated, "What's he done to you?"

"Well…it's the fact that he _exists _if you know what I mean," James replied, looking at the bubbling Severus with dislike.

The only people who didn't laugh were Lily and Remus. Remus hadn't moved from his spot under the tree, but his whole body was tensed as he listened.

"You think you're so funny, Potter. But you're just an arrogant, bullying toerag. I thought we were going to be friends this year. I guess I was wrong. You're too much of a prat. Leave. Him. _ALONE." _Lily snapped, pointing at Severus on the ground.

"I will if you go out with me, Evans. Go on…go out with me and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again." James said quickly.

Behind him, Severus was inching towards his wand as the jinx wore off.

"I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you or the giant squid," Lily replied coldly.

"Bad luck, Prongs," Sirius replied briskly. He turned to Severus and let out a sharp, "OY!"

Snape directed his wand straight at James there was a flash of light and a gash appeared on the side of the other boy's face, spattering his robes with blood. James whirled back around. There was a second flash of light later, and Severus was hanging upside down in the air, his robes falling over his head revealing skinny pallid legs and a pair of graying underpants. Lily's furious expression twitched for an instant as though she was going to smile and then she shouted,

"Let him down, you prat!"

"Certainly," James jerked his wand upward.

Severus crumpled into a heap on the ground. Disentangling himself from his robes, he got to his feet, stood up, but Sirius had his wand ready.

"_Locomotor Mortis!" _

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Lily shrieked. She had her own wand out as she hurried forward to Severus.

She reached him and spun around, her wand pointed at the two boys. The crowd had gone silent as Sirius and James eyed her wand warily. Everyone watching knew how well Lily was at magic and the few people who had been on the receiving end of it were backing away.

"Ah, Evans, come on now. Don't make me hex you," James said softly.

"Take the curse off him, then, or I'll put it on you!" Lily snapped.

James sighed deeply and muttered the counter curse.

"There you go," he said, "You better be glad Evans was here, Snivellus--"

"I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!"

Lily blinked.

"Fine. I won't bother in the future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you, _Snivellus." _

"Apologize to her, you filthy little rat!" James roared, pointing his wand threatening at him.

"I don't want _you _to make him apologize! You're just as bad as he is--"

"What? I'd NEVER call you a-- well you know!" James yelped.

"Messing up your hair because you think it look scool to look like you've just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can- I'm surprised your broomstick can even get off ground with that big fat head of yours on it. You make me _sick," _

Lily spun on her heel and marched back to Pat and her other friends who had hung back near Remus and Peter.

"Lily!" James shouted after her.

She didn't look back.

"What is _with _her?" James asked, trying- but failing- to look as though this was a throw away question.

"Reading between the lines, I'd say she thinks you're a bit conceited, mate." Sirius replied, patting his friend on the shoulder.

"Right. Okay, fine. Right-" James looked furious now.

There was another flash of bright light and Severus was hanging upside down in the air again.

"Who want to see me take of Snivelly's pants?"

Lily had returned again. There was a brighter flash of light and James had been thrown feet away from Severus. The other boy was on the ground in the heap again, cursing.

"I told you to leave him alone." Lily snarled.

"He called you--"

"You listen to me, Potter. The next time you even _look _at him I'll hex you into next year. Got it?"

And then she was gone.


	18. You've gone your way, I've gone mine

Lily was leaning against Pat's arm, sobbing.

"I can't believe he called me that. We're best friends! That was never supposed to happen. He always promised that I would fit in, that there wouldn't be any trouble, that nobody would ever call me that. And then he went back on his own word! He called me the word that nobody else has ever done here! Why him? Why did he do this to me? I-I-" she broke off sobbing.

She doubled over in her chair, holding onto her own sides, sobbing. Fat tears rolled down her cheeks as she gasped for air. Pat frowned hard and patted her friends back, sniffing every now and then. Mary stood near them listening to the whispered explanation from Mable. The Marauders were sitting over in the corner. James watched Lily cry with tears in his own eyes from her pain. Sirius wouldn't look at her as he sat twitching in his seat. Remus watched with a glassy expression and Peter lay snoring on the floor.

"I can't believe I messed up," James whispered as Lily let out a moan.

"I can. You shouldn't have even bothered to mess with him," Remus said, "This is what you get."

"Shut up, Moony. You're not helping," Sirius snapped.

Remus shrugged and Sirius glared at him. James moaned and buried his face in his arms.

"Its alright mate," Sirius said bracingly, "Loads of girls want you. Don't waste your time on her anymore."

"I don't want any of them. I want her." James's muffled voice reached their ears.

Lily let out a fresh sob as Mary offered her sympathies.

"Don't talk to her about it!" Pat yelled over Lily's fresh sobs.

"I-I don't want to hear his name! He-he isn't who I thought he was! I-I don't want any-anything to do with hi-him no matter wh-what." Lily sobbed loudly. James looked up at her, eyes bright.

"Did she just--?"

"Don't you make any moves on her, James." Remus said warningly.

"When's her birthday?" Sirius randomly asked.

"Tomorrow…" James trailed off with a grin.

Lily sobbed loudly again and Pat gave the girl a hug.

"Come on, Lils. Tomorrow's your birthday…you don't need to be thinking about him right now. He's not worth your time. Brace yourself, darling." Pat told her.

"We were supposed to hang out tomorrow," Lily was crying so hard only Pat could understand her.

"Oh, Lily. He doesn't matter. You can have a much better time without him!" Pat told her.

"I don't want my birthday without him. Before I met any of you Se-Severus was my best fri-friend. He told me every-everything! There weren't any secrets and it was the be-best friendship there ever was. I don't want to do anything without hi-him." Lily wailed.

Pat looked helplessly over into the corner. Sirius shook his head violently, Remus shuddered, James hid his face, and Peter continued his snoring. James shot the boy a dirty look but did nothing to wake him. Lily moved her crying to the dormitory when she finally realized that James was in the same room as her. She shot him the meanest look she could manage through puffy eyes then went crying up the staircase.

"Do you see what you did to her?" Pat's yelling went on for more then an hour. It was around ten thirty now and the boys were yawning and feeling more guilty by the second.

"Yes," James moaned, "We see. I shouldn't have done it. If it weren't for me they would still be friends. I get it Pat. Okay? I get it. Sirius gets it. Remus and Peter didn't do anything, but they get it. Just let us go to sleep okay? We feel horrible. I'm going to make it up to her tomorrow. Just be sure she's in the three broomsticks tomorrow at noon."

Pat gave him a dirty look,

"Why should I do anything for you? Its her birthday, her best friend betrayed her, and I don't even think I can get her down to Hogsmede."

"Just try, okay?" James pleaded.

"Fine," Pat sighed, "But I hope she slaps you."

Pat turned on her heel and marched up the staircase.

"I'd deserve it." James muttered.

They stood up and moved towards the boys dorms. Remus and Sirius had pulled Peter up the staircase and James was just about to go after them when a voice called,

"Potter! Where's Lily?"

He turned to see Mary running over to him.

"She's up in the dorm with Pat and all the others. Probably still crying her eyes out," he flinched.

"Okay. Thanks. You better get lost. She'll be coming down here in a moment." Mary said.

"Got it,"

She ran up the staircase and James went and hid behind one of the armchairs near the fire. A few moments later Lily appeared in her dressing gown. James watched as she shoved the portrait hole open.

"I'm sorry," were the first words out of Severus's mouth when Lily appeared.

"I'm not interested,"

"I'm sorry!"

"Save your breath. The only reason I'm out here is because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep out here." Lily said coldly.

"I was. I would have done. I never meant to call you a Mudblood. It just--"

"Slipped out? It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater friends-- you see? You don't even deny it! You don't even deny that's what you're all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who can you? You lied to me, Severus. You lied to me about not becoming one of them and that's the worst thing you ever could have done to me. You can call me names and all of that, but the fact you lied to me about being a good person is the worse." there wasn't a trace of pity in her voice. He opened his mouth to speak but she went on, "I can't pretend anymore, Sev. You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine."

"No- listen! Please, Lily. I didn't mean--"

"--to call me Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different? I'm not and we both know it," Lily replied with tears in her emerald eyes.

Severus was on the verge of speech but Lily let out a sob, gave him a contemptuous look, and ran back into the portrait hole. When it closed behind her she stumbled over to the armchair next to the fire, collapsed in it, and sobbed. James was hesitating behind her and he finally stood up. Lily had her head in her arms and didn't see him. He approached slowly and soundlessly.

"Evans?"

Lily's head snapped up. She glared at him through the tears streaming out of her eyes.

"Get away from me!" she sobbed, standing up, "This is all your fault!"

"I--"

Lily reached out and slapped his face. She turned on her heel and ran away from him sobbing harder then ever. James rubbed his cheek and watched soundlessly as her red hair whipped out of sight and the sound of her sobs went soundless.


	19. Birthday Surprises

A/N: Technically, Lily's birthday is January, but for this to work I needed it to be during the end of the school year. Sorry for if being incorrect.

--Disaster

[X]

"Happy birthday Lily!"

She smiled at everyone in the Common Room and thanked them all as they disappeared out of the portrait hole for breakfast. Pat stood next to her with her arm around Lily's waist. She gave her a hug and offered to walk with her down to the Great Hall.

"Actually, I'm not that hungry. I'm just going to hang around up here till it's time to start our for Hogsmede. Come get me when you're ready," Lily said.

"Are you sure you don't want to come?" Pat asked.

Lily hesitated for a moment,

"No…I take that back. I'll come."

She slipped her shoes on and followed Pat out of the hole.

"What changed your mind?" Pat asked as they walked down the many staircases.

"Potter and the cronies came in," Lily replied.

Pat laughed and Lily even gave a little smile as they entered the Great Hall. Out of habit, Lily glanced over at the Slytherin table. Severus was sitting at it surrounded by his Death Eater friends. His head was down on the table but none of them even seemed to notice how miserable he was.

_That's what he gets, _Lily thought, _With friends like that he'll never get anywhere in life. I've made him too soft for that kind of life. Hopefully now that we're not friends anymore he'll be able to quit that life that he' s already picked. He can't have been branded or whatever. He'll leave and then we can be friends again. Until then I'm not going to be able to do any of that no matter what happens. Ever. I can' t talk to him anymore and I don't want to. He's a disgrace to me now. I can't believe him._

She sat down with Pat at the table and nibbled on a piece of toast as Pat ate her oatmeal. James and his friends appeared but didn't bother to try and talk to her. She was thankful for that. She felt horrible for hitting James last night. When she had been upstairs crying she shed many tears over hurting him as well as Severus in the same night. James deserved it all the same but she shouldn't have hit him and she knew it. Still feeling horrible, she took another piece of toast and sighed.

"Well what's the plan for today? I didn't really want to go out," Lily said.

"I know," Pat shrugged, "But you know friends come and go, Lils. I think you should get out and celebrate your birthday either way. Just let him go. He obviously wasn't the friend you thought he was. You can come and have a great day with the girls."

Lily made a face,

"I don't really want to be with them. How about just you and me?"

"Okay," Pat smiled, "That sounds good."

Lily nodded and looked up at the sound of rushing wings. An owl came swooping down and perched in front of Lily. Smiling, she removed the letter and unfurled the Muggle paper,

_Lily,_

_We hope you have an amazing birthday, darling. We'll see you in a week and we'll celebrate our way. We've sent you some more money so you can get yourself a treat while you're out. Send Severus our hello's._

_Love, Mummy and Daddy_

Lily flipped it over, searching. She looked up at Pat with tears in her eyes,

"Petunia didn't send me a letter."

Pat cleared her throat and looked up at the heavy swarm of owls.

"Oh you don't know that. Maybe she just forgotten to put it on the owl or something. I'm sure she has one for you…" Pat coughed.

Lily shoved the seat back.

"I can't believe her! I'm her _sister!" _Lily looked outraged.

"Lily please calm down. Why don't you look at the back of your parents letter? Maybe hers is on the back." Pat suggested quickly.

Lily flopped back down on the seat. She spotted a PS down at the bottom and read:

_PS: Its your birthday, freak._

_Petunia_

A tear streaked down Lily's face. She ripped off the bottom part of the letter and stood up. She marched over to the fire near the staff table and chucked it into the flames. She watched it eat Petunia's letter with satisfaction. She walked back over to Pat who was staring at her.

"You don't know how long I've wanted to do something like that," Lily whispered.

Pat grinned,

"I'm glad you did."

Laughing, the two girls hooked arms and walked out of the Great Hall to join the line getting checked off by Filch to head down to the wizarding village. They chatted with a few other people as they waited to be set free into the dazzling sunlight outside. Soon Lily and Pat were checked off the list and the two walked out into the bright sunlight and began the walk towards the village.

"Hmm…doesn't it feel great today?" Lily asked as she inhaled the sweet summer air.

"It really does," Pat smiled, eyeing her watch.

Lily spent most of her time in Honeydukes, spending the birthday money her parents had sent her. She was loaded with her favorite sweets when she and Pat reappeared at noon. Lily's stomach growled and she looked longingly towards the castle where lunch was sure to be waiting. Most of the students were heading down towards the Three Broomsticks for lunch instead of heading towards the castle.

"How about a butterbeer?" Pat asked, grabbing Lily's wrist and pulling her along.

"Sure…?"

Pat yanked Lily into the crowded pub and gazed around the tables. She spotted the Marauders on a table near the window. James waved towards her and she nodded slightly.

"Here's some money," Pat said, "My treat. I'll go find us a seat."

"Aw, thanks Pat," Lily beamed, giving her friend a hug.

"Don't say that just yet." Pat muttered as Lily pushed her way towards the counter.

She shoved her way through the crowd to reached James's table. She sat down in one of the two extra chairs. She found herself next to Sirius and knew this wasn't a coincidence.

"You know she hit me last night?" James asked.

"Yes. She bawled about that almost as much as she did Snape," Pat replied.

"Really?" his eyes had lit up.

"Well of course. She really does like you, Potter. She just won't admit it. Besides, its Lily. She hates being wrong and she's wrong that she doesn't like you. She really does. And she's going to hate me after this. She hates you right now as it is. He was her best friend. I don't understand why that is, but he was. I respect her for that. Pulling her over to the person that caused the brutal ending to that friendship isn't going to be the best birthday present of all time, you know." she answered.

"He's got something good in store for her," Sirius winked.

Pat rolled her eyes and stood up in her chair. Lily spotted her, smiled, and began to push her way over. She was still smiling until she saw who Pat had chosen to sit with. Her smile vanished quickly.

_Typically, _she thought sourly.

"I don't want to sit here Pat," she said coldly.

"Just listen to what he has to say," Pat pleaded, "You owe him for hitting him last night."

Lily turned a slight shade of pink, sat down next to Pat, and stared at the ceiling waiting for him to start speaking.

"Its too loud in here," James called over to her, "Will you come with me outside? I think you might have left a mark last night so you shouldn't be too worried about getting away from me."

He was still smirking when Lily stomped out the doors with him.

"What do you want from me, Potter?" she snapped.

"I want you to listen." he said.

"Go."

"I didn't mean for that to happen yesterday. I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean for it to end the way that it did. I didn't expect him to call you that, or for Sirius to act the way he did, or for any of it to happen anyway. It wasn't supposed to go that way. It was supposed to be a jinx and then move on. I didn't mean for any of the things to happen that we did do. I should have left him alone when you told me to. And I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry I ruined your birthday. I'm sorry I ended the friendship between you and Snape--"

Lily threw her arms around James's neck and hugged him tight,

"Its not your fault. Well not all of it anyway. We were on edge as it was anyway, James. He has this…I don't know. Some kind of stupid plan in mind that has to do with You-Know-Who. I don't wan to have anything to do with someone like that. I'm done being his friend until he comes to his senses and lets it go. Thank you for apologizing. That's all I could have asked for from you."

James hugged her back quickly, just happy to be this close to her.

"Thanks…but I got something for you." he said.

Lily pulled back and eyed him uncertainly.

"Its nothing bad this year," he rolled his eyes.

"Sure…" she muttered.

He laughed and pulled a little silver box out of his pocket. She held her hand out and he placed it on her palm. She gave him another uncertain look and tore the paper off the little box. It was made of white satin. She opened it up and gasped.

"Oh…"

A small, gold heart shaped locket was nestled into the white fabric. An L.E. was intertwining around a lily that were charmed to flow like gently waves hitting a bank.

"James…this is…beautiful. I- I don't want to say," she whispered.

"Want me to help you put it on?"

"Please."

James walked around behind her and did the small clasp around her neck. Lily pulled her long red hair out of the thing gold chain and turned to smile at him.

"This is so amazing. Thank you so much," she smiled.

He shrugged,

"I felt the need to out do Pat this year,"

Lily laughed and gave him another hug. He hugged her back gently and thought,

_Wow. I might have a chance again after all._


	20. Yes

A/N: Sorry…this is all your getting for tonight.

:]

Enjoy.

--Disaster

[X]

Another year passed and Lily found herself on the train to Hogwarts for her last and final year. She hadn't had to think about Severus at all the whole summer. She didn't even read the many letters he sent her. She had talked to James quite a bit and was trusting him more and more. She was even starting to consider finally dating him if he ever asked her again.

"There aren't any compartments open, Lils. We might as well go and find Potter," Pat finally sighed after fifteen minutes of fruitless searching.

"I guess so," Lily shrugged.

They started pulling their trunks after them down the aisle towards the middle of the train. Panting, they reached a compartment door and peered in. There sat Peter, James, Sirius, and Remus all together. As usual Remus was reading, Peter staring in awe as James played with a Snitch and Sirius made things float out of boredom. Lily knocked lightly on the door and then pushed it open. Everyone turned to look at her and Pat.

"Mind if I sit here?" she asked, grinning.

"Not at all," James smiled back, shoving Peter out of the seat next to him when Lily turned around.

"Let me help you," Sirius said quickly, jumping up to help the girls with their trunks.

"Well that was quite sweet of you," Lily smiled at him.

"I try to be," he grinned back.

Lily turned and sat down next to James. Peter glared at her for a moment before trudging over to sit next to Remus who sat across from them. Lily pulled her feet up in the seat and smiled at James who smiled back quickly.

"How was your break, Remus? I didn't get many letters from you this year." she said.

"I was busy with my father," he smiled, "'Bonding.'"

"Ahh…that must have been fun," she frowned.

He rolled his eyes and sighed. She looked over at Peter who looked away in a pout. She frowned a little and then turned to look at Sirius who had just taken a seat between her and Pat.

"How about you Sirius? Have a nice break?" she asked.

"Hell no," he groaned, "You know how my mother is. I was at James' most of the time. I'd rather die then stay there with those bloody fools."

Lily grinned and looked back at James as everyone fell into a new conversation.

"It's a new year," she whispered to him.

James raised his eyebrows,

"Yes, believe it or not, I'm capable of counting time."

Lily laughed again and he put his arm around her shoulders in a hesitant manner. She didn't move away from him like she usually did. James took this as an encouragement and pulled her into his side. Lily went with his arm like it was the most natural thing in the world.

"Am I finally going to get a yes? Have you finally seen the light, Lily?" he teased.

She shrugged,

"Maybe I finally have."

He stared at her, mouth open.

"Just listen. It's not as crazy as it sounds. I was thinking over the summer, now that I know you a lot better then I have in years, I thought that maybe we could give it a shot, you know? Try something new. I mean…new things haven't ever hurt anyone before and you've been persistent for years. I think I should just let you have your way. Like I told you a few years before, I really do like you. I really wanted to wait till I was sure that I could handle a relationship between the two of us. Ever since I lost Severus…I think know I need something like this." she finished her speech in a little sigh.

James cleared his throat uncomfortably at the mention of the other name.

"So…that's a yes then?"

Lily looked up at him and smiled,

"That's a yes."


	21. Plans For Afterwards

A/N: I'm a horrible person for making you guys wait so long.

:]

This is my favorite chapter…gosh, I love it. James is so amazing.

XD

Don't forget to review!

[X]

Lily was sitting in the Common Room, scribbling across her parchment as always. James was out at Quidditch practice but she tried not to think much about it. She glanced up at the clock, frowned, and looked back down. She hated it when his practices ran late, but she knew how bad the House wanted to win the Cup, so she wasn't going to complain too much. It was just it was twenty minutes till midnight…Sighing, she ran her fingers through her long red curls and read over her halfway finished essay.

James came through the portrait hole a few moments later and smiled softly at the girl waiting for him. She was bent over the parchment again, scribbling furiously. He didn't say anything as she stood there and watched her write. She was still in her uniform, he noticed, her Head Girl badge sitting on the table in front of her. The first three buttons of her shirt were undone and he tried to ignore the way the pale skin from her throat went on flawlessly into her shirt. How he wished he could see more of that, but no. Lily wasn't interested in being with him that way…yet. He would make her want him, he knew he would. She crossed her legs and he loved the way her skirt hung just right against them, yet never giving him the satisfaction of getting to see all he wanted.

"Hey there Lil," he finally greeted, walking forward.

"James."

He threw his broom down on the ground and threw himself into the chair across from her. Lily didn't look up from her essay as she said,

"What took so long?"

"We had a lot of new moves to go over. It was hell."

"I'll bet."

"You should have come down."

"I didn't want to bother you."

"You could never do that."

"Right."

"Really, Lil, come down next time."

"Maybe…"

He shrugged and gave up the persuasion as a bad case. Lily could be a right case when she didn't want to do something and he wasn't about to have her yell at him. Not tonight, anyway. Maybe some other time when he wasn't so damn tired and he wasn't happy with just watching her.

He stood up, stretched, and yanked his practice shirt off. It hit the floor with a muted thud and they both gave it a worried look before returning to what they were doing. The only sound in the Common Room was Lily's quill scratching and the slow crackling of the dying fire. James sunk back down in the chair, kicking his shoes off. He threw his head back and closed his eyes, letting the warmth of the fire take over his cold body and listening to the sound of Lily's quill.

He didn't notice when the sound stopped. His eyes snapped open when he felt something flutter across his stomach. He eyed Lily nervously, unsure of what she was doing. She just smiled down at him before returning her attention back to the hand that was running softly across his stomach. He bit back as his shudders as Lily sighed and let her fingertips probe him lightly.

"Damn, Lily, not tonight," he groaned, throwing his head back again.

"Why not?"

"I'm tired baby."

She said nothing but removed her hand. It was a moment later when he heard the sound of her quill scratching again. Sighing, he opened his eyes and looked across at her. She looked up, smiled, and then looked back down. He could see no trace of hurt in her emerald eyes. She looked oddly at peace, and this surprised him. He never denied her. He had been expecting a big blow up for that.

"Something going on?" he asked softly.

"Should there be?" she replied.

He didn't say anything as he watched her curiously. Her hand flitted across the page and he suddenly wished it were his stomach instead. The soft motions had felt nice on his tense, sore, muscles.

"Do me favor and tell Sirius to stay out of my room before I put a full body bind curse on him," Lily suddenly said, looking up.

"He's been in your room?"

"Like you didn't know," she snorted, "I was there when you made that drunken deal. Why would you need to shag his girlfriend anyway?"

"Hey now, we were drunk. We make stupid deals all the time when we're drunk," James warned.

"I know…"

She smiled at him and returned her attention back to the parchment she had been writing on. James watched her closely again, wondering why she was so calm. Usually when she had to do homework this late she was tensed and worried. Or when Quidditch practice ran long overtime like it did tonight, she would be in a right state when he finally came in.

Not tonight. She was calm, happy, and content…he was at loss. What had gone on while he was gone?

"Lily," he whispered, "You've lost me."

"Well that's no shocker," she muttered.

He let out a sigh of relief. There was the Lily he had been expecting. She looked up at him and sighed,

"I've been thinking…you know the last day of term is just in a couple of days and we haven't talked about what its going to be like…after,"

He just nodded. So this was where it was going. They hadn't been talking about what would happen with their relationship after school, but he was going to marry the girl before him. He wasn't ask her--he was _telling _her. She had no choice in this anymore. There wasn't going to be anyone else for him. She knew that, too.

"What do you want it to be like?" he whispered.

"Well," she said softly, "I'm not sure. We're going two completely different directions here, James. You're going off to the other side of the globe to train to be an Auror and I have to go help Dumbledore and Sirius find a good headquarters for the Order of the Phoenix…what are we going to do? There might not be anyway for us to be like this anymore."

Tears were sparkling in her emerald eyes. James slid out of his chair and got on his knees in front of her. He hated it when she cried and she knew that. Lily looked away and tired to wipe away the tears without him noticing. She couldn't ever do that. He noticed everything there was to notice about her. She was so beautiful. Even when she cried…

"Lily…calm down. Nothing's going to happen. We're going to be okay. We'll--we'll find a way to get out of this. I promise," he whispered, rubbing her knee with his hand.

"But you don't know that, James," she choked, looking back at him.

"Yes. I do," he replied firmly.

A few tears rolled down her cheeks. He reached up and brushed them away. She gave him a watery smile before breaking down completely. James pulled her into his arms and rubbed her back soothingly as she sobbed full out on his shoulder; her hot tears running down his bare skin. A few minutes later she lay against him sniffling.

"Lily," he said softly, "You know we're going to get married."

"Did you just tell me I'm getting married?"

"Yes. I did."

She pulled away from his shoulder and stared at him. Then her face lit up in a breath taking smile. She hugged him close and sniffed again, mostly out of happiness this time…he hoped, anyway.

"Wanna know something else?" he whispered.

"Sure," he could hear the smile in her voice.

"I want to have a baby, too."

She pulled back again and stared at him in astonishment. He gave her a crooked grin but she seemed stuck in the same place. He gave her a little shake, worried now, and she seemed to come to her senses.

"Oh, James--"

What the hell! She was crying again?

James pulled her close and began rubbing her back, wondering what he could have said to make her break down like this all over again. He was going to have to watch what he said more carefully unless he wanted this to happen all the time.

Sniffing, Lily pulled back and sat up in the chair. She wiped her tears off with her shirt sleeve. James was still on his knees in front of her. He reached up and put his hands on her stomach, and smiled. He was ready to feel _his _baby inside _her _stomach. He'd give anything in the world just to be able to feel the sense of accomplishment that would come from being an expecting father.

"When did you decide all this?" Lily finally whispered.

"The day I first set eyes on you. It's just taken me a few years to sort it all out," he smiled. She let out a little laugh,

"Seven years…its taken me seven years to realize that you were the one right for me all along. James--I can't believe that this could really be happening. I could spend forever and a day with you."

"All of that feeling took seven years?" he teased softly. She gave him another water smile and nodded.

He pressed his palms gently against her stomach and whispered,

"I want to see you pregnant, Lils. I want to see you happy, round, and completely excited about having him."

"Him?"

"Yes, it's going to be a boy." Lily let out another laugh,

"You don't chose what kind of baby you're going to have."

James merely shrugged and winked up at her.

"I think I just did."

She laughed again. He leaned in and kissed her stomach gently. He rocked back on his heels and stood up. She stood up with him and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Good night Lily," he whispered into her hair, "I love you."

"I love you too, James…so much."


	22. Forever and Always

A/N: No…I take that back. THIS is my favorite chapter.

Review!

[X]

It was the last day of school. Lily could feel the ring on her finger like it weighed a dozen pounds. People all over the school congratulated her as she walked down the halls.

Damn Sirius, she thought as she smiled at yet another student congratulating her, I'm going to kill him.

She finally escaped the cool entrance hall and gazed across the sunny grounds. Her belongings were packed and sitting in her room, waiting for James to come and lug them down the stairwell. She inhaled deeply and felt a sense of sadness surround her. This was her last day at Hogwarts…she would not ever be back. She rested her hand against her stomach and smiled, but a Potter would defiantly be back. Hopefully not as rebellious as its father…though she wasn't all that sure she would mind.

As Lily gazed out across the grounds, a shadow caught her eye. It was sitting with its back to her, but even after years of not talking to him, she would know that head anywhere. Unsure of what she was doing, Lily walked forward until she was right in front of it. She gazed down at Severus Snape with tears in her emerald eyes.

"Hello Lily," he whispered, not looking at her.

"Hello Sev," she replied softly, sinking onto her knees in front of the seventeen year old. He smiled gently at her before returning his gaze to the lake.

"I've missed you," she said, staring at his face.

"I've missed you too," was the reply she received.

"Will you be joining the hunt for HQ?" she asked cautiously in case didn't know about the Order.

"No, I have other plans in mind, actually," he replied, looking back at her with a sad little smile.

"Oh Sev! I shouldn't have ever said those dreadful things to you! Now we're going such different paths and I don't think I could stand not being in touch with you anymore!" she cried out, a few tears stealing down her cheeks. She wiped them away impatiently as she stared at his face.

"Don't be like that Lils," he sighed, "We'll be okay."

"Please, Sev. Don't do this to us. Don't do this to me," she begged, grabbing hold of his hand.

He looked down and saw the little band around her finger. He looked back up at her but she didn't seem disturbed that he had finally seen the truth. She had gone back on her promise to him…she was going to marry Potter. He tried to hide his hurt, but he could never really do that with Lily. She threw her arms around him and started crying into his shirt. He patted her back gently and whispered softly to her that everything was going to be all right even though both of them knew it was past that point.

"This might be my last memory of you Sev," she sniffled, "I want it to be a good one."

She rocked back on her heels, scrubbed her eyes, and smiled at the young man before her. He took hold of her hands and smiled warmly back, willing to make a good memory for her; for himself.

"I'm sorry for everything I've done to you this year," he finally said, "I've been a pretty bad best friend and that doesn't deserve you at all. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me."

"Of course I can. Only if you come to my wedding. It wouldn't be one without you," she gave him a watery smile.

"I dunno about that one, Lils. Potter wouldn't want me to be there," Severus spoke bitterly. Lily tossed her head impatiently,

"James doesn't pick everything. I want you there and that's what matters." Severus smiled. This was the Lily that he would always remember. Lily Evans…not Lily Potter. She would never be Lily Potter to him. She would always be innocent, beautiful, loving little Lily Evans.

"I'll try my best," he promised. She threw her arms around him again thanking him repeatedly.

"Lils! Come on! It's time to go!" James called.

"Coming!" she yelled back to him.

She looked back at Severus with sad eyes. The two of them stood up together for final goodbyes. Lily had tears in her eyes again and she let them flow down her cheeks without bothering to stop the flow. They both knew she wouldn't be able to.

"Thank you for being my friend," they whispered at the same time.

"I don't know where I would have been without you. You're my everything, don't you ever forget it," Severus went on in his low voice.

"Its me that should be thanking you," Lily choked, "I would have come here to Hogwarts and had no idea what I was doing. I owe you so much, Sev. You're so amazing."

He smiled and they embraced one another tightly. Lily didn't want to let go but she could hear the Gryffindor house being called together to head down to Hogsmede. They pulled back and she kept her hands on his shoulders. She looked him sternly in the eye (as sternly as she could with flowing tears) and said,

"Remember to come to my wedding. I don't want to be pledged into forever without my best friend there."

"Make sure it's not on a full moon," he joked.

"I'll try my best," she smiled.

"Miss. Evans, if you will!" McGonagall called over to her.

Lily stood on tiptoe and kissed Severus gently on the cheek. Before she turned away, she whispered,

"I love you, Sev. Forever and always."

As she hurried away, Severus stared hungrily after her, wishing her could tell the bride to be everything that he felt for her. He watched with sorrow as James kissed the love of his life softly and put his arm around her waist. A few moments later, the Gryffindor house clambered into the carriages and they drove off towards Hogsmede leaving Severus alone. As he watched the last carriage, which he knew carried Lily, he whispered,

"I love you, Lils. Forever and always."

He turned away and didn't bother brushing away the tear that fell as her carriage bounced out of sight.


	23. Defeated By a Baby, End

_Sirius,_

_Thank you so much for coming to the wedding. You have no idea how much that meant to us…to me. I used to think you were the stupidest, most horrible, disgusting person around, but now I love you so much I don't know where I would be without you, Padfoot. Thank you so much for everything. Thanks for being your idiotic self. I will treasure my wedding pictures with you the most. You were amazing. Thank you for showing me who I really am but most of all…thank you for just being you. You're an amazing person, Sirius. Don't you dare let me tell you different. _

_I'm pregnant. James is bouncing off walls over here, I'm not even kidding. Poor Bathilda from next door has already asked me if I should take him to Saint Mungo's. I told her he was just being a bit over dramatic over something. I didn't want to tell her I was expecting in case something went wrong. I don't think I would be able to come home from being told my baby was dead and have her ask me how many months I was._

_We want a boy. I'll happily take a girl, James is so silly, but he has his heart set on a baby boy and I'm hoping he'll get his wish. It feels that way but you know how life is. Sometimes you don't get what you want._

_James told me about your…what was she? Your girlfriend? He never told me you planned to get married but still. Anyway, he told me about her death. I'm very sorry, Padfoot. It's a shame that it had to happen to you. If she was able to make you fall in love with her that was a hell of a woman. I know you miss her but you shouldn't give up on all women just because one had to leave you._

_You need to come down and visit us sometime soon. I'm going crazy here with just Peter and James to talk to. Don't get me wrong, I love having James, but Peter has been acting very oddly lately and I'm not sure if I like it that way. If you know anything that's going on, please let me know. Really though, come and see us soon. Bring Remus if you can. I've missed him dearly. Thank you again, Sirius._

_Love,_

_Lily Potter_

Lily stood up with her finished letter and blew on the fresh ink. She didn't want to put it in the envelop wet. The last time she had done that to poor Sirius he had written her back asking "Why the hell are there so many damn splotches on this?" but with a few more curse words that seemed to Lily that he had been drunk on the time or just very pissed off. As she walked down the stairs, she couldn't help but smile at the beautiful house she and James had together. She enjoyed every moment of it…every part of it. She entered the kitchen and let out a happy sigh as she took in the sunny texture that she had picked. James had been only too obliged to go along with it, though she had forced him to pick the bed for the bedroom and then she ended up having to pick it herself.

Men.

"Lily! I'm--oh there you are," James grinned as he stepped through the back door and into the kitchen.

"Hello James," she smiled, standing up on her tiptoes for a kiss.

He got down on his knees in front of her and pressed his ear to the little bump in-between her hips. She smiled and stroked his black hair fondly as he whispered nonsense to it. He grinned up at her,

"How does it feel to be a mommy?"

"I'm not one yet," she laughed as he put his hand on her stomach.

"You will be though," he replied, "And that's enough to say that you already are, I think. Writing to Sirius?"

She hit him softly on top of the head with the now dry parchment,

"Obviously. I write to him everyday, don't I?"

"Did you tell him to get his arse down here? I'm so sick of Wormtail acting so weird. It's annoying," he answered. Lily pressed her hands to either side of her stomach with a stunned expression shot at her husband,

"Don't curse around the baby."

He gave her a crooked grin and rose to his feet. Lily smiled at him as he took the letter from her, gave the ink a blow, and then stuck it in the envelop for her. He let it fall to the table and then pulled his wife into his arms with a happy sigh.

"I love you Lily," he whispered. Lily gazed over his shoulder at the Hogwarts year photo book where a picture of her and Severus were laughing at her,

"I love you too James."

[X]

_Severus,_

_I had a baby boy in July. I'm sorry that I'm just now writing you about this but a new baby has proven very hard to get used to. Its been so much fun. Please come and visit us. I miss you so much and I'm sure James would love for you to met the baby. I can't wait for you to write me back. I really don't have much to say. I've become a Healer at Saint Mungo's, James got his wish of becoming an Auror, and now we're a bright little family of three. Sirius has this AMAZING new motorcycle that cracks me up. It can fly. How stupid is he? Peter has been acting differently, however. I'm not sure how I much I like that. We haven't seen much of Remus lately. He's on some kind of mission to find jobs. Poor fellow. Honestly, Sev, come and see us. I miss you._

_Love,_

_Lily & James & Harry_

[X]

The night was wet and windy. Lily could feel the draft blowing in from the living room even though she was in the kitchen. Annoyed, she finally called out to her reckless husband,

"James! Close that window! Merlin, if my baby gets sick I swear I'll hex you into next week."

"Where would Harry learn to fly then?" James teased.

"Sirius."

"Oh…low blow."

Lily just laughed and went on cutting up her vegetables. In the living room, James closed the window with a short snap. His son, Harry, sat on the floor clapping and laughing, waiting for his father to rejoin him in their game. James sat back on the floor and began to make purple rings of smoke puff out of his wand. Lily had dressed Harry in black pajamas for the night, for the reason he would never know why, and the little boy clapped his hands in such amusement it made James chuckle too. Harry let out another loud laugh and attempted to catch the smoke in his hand.

Lily walked into the room, her long curtains of red hair falling over her shoulders and down the sides of her face.

"May I put Harry to be now, perhaps? That would be a nice change, don't you think?" she chided her husband gently.

Smiling, he scooped Harry up into his arms and handed him to his wife. She kissed James's cheek and he grinned. He threw his wand on the couch beside him and stretched, yawning widely.

Suddenly, the door burst open. James jumped up in surprise and Lily spun around, clutching Harry more tightly in her arms. A sense of fear and dread seeped into the now open front door, which had been locked just moments before. The two lovers made eye contact and with that, which all happened in just three to five seconds, James sprinted over the threshold leaving a shocked Lily in the middle of the sitting room with a laughing Harry in her arms. If only the little boy knew it wasn't a joke.

"Lily, take Harry and go! Don't wait on me! Hurry! It's him! I'll hold him off, go!" James cried to his wife.

Lily started screaming from the floor above when she heard the shout. She could see the green light flare from under the door. Sobbing, she began to kick things against the door. Boxes and Harry's favorite rocking chair. Her child watched the progress from his mother's arms, not realizing that she was crying.

The door flew open and there a man stood in a long black cloak. At the sight of him, Lily dropped the baby into the crib and flung her arms open wide.

"Not Harry! Not Harry, please not Harry!" she sobbed, stretching her arms wider in hope of protecting the little boy.

"Stand aside, you foolish girl…stand aside now," the voice was cold as ice and yet still Lily didn't move. James was dead. The only reason she had for living was the little bundle of joy behind her.

"Not Harry, please no. Take me instead, kill me instead--"

"This is my last warning Muggle---"

"Not Harry! Please! Have mercy…have mercy…not Harry, not Harry! Please--I'll do anything--"

"Stand aside, I said. Stand aside, girl!"

The bright green light filled the whole room and Lily crumpled to the floor in front of the crib just as James had done in the hall below her. The last thing she had felt was Harry's little hand against hers…

--End--


	24. Author's Note

**All right! I'm so surprised its finished. The last part of my story was just a spur on the moment idea. I'm not sure why I did it, but I did. I like it though. Sure it's a little sad but still…**

**Moving on, I've decided that I'm going to write a sequel to this called **_**Inside the Monster's Lair**_**. It's going to have to do with just Severus and how he handles the whole death with Lily being gone. I'm not sure why I'm so set on doing another one, it's just I love the friendship between the two of them and I think it would make an interesting write because Severus and Dumbledore are my two favorite characters.**

**Please tell me how you feel about this idea in your reviews and I'll happily carry on, which I'm sure we all know I'm going to do it anyway. Thank you so much for reading the series, it means a lot to me since it was my first. You guys are so amazing and if you follow my next FF I'll love you forever!**

**--Disaster**


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